Chapter 30
I was tired. Bone weary and numb. It wasn’t physical. Well, it was, but not from work or exercise. I had done both that day, but I was strong and fit, and those were part of my daily routine. This was a mental and emotional exhaustion.
My earlier conversation with Lily was the cause of my exhaustion. It was the same conversation, played over and over, with no change, no resolution and I could tell we were going to have it again. I wouldn’t run, but I found it incredibly wearying.
How many ways can you tell someone “I no longer give a fuck?” I had cared, at one time, but my fucks to give had long since been depleted.
“Rogers,” she had said in opening. “You know I’m in therapy.”
“Yes, you’ve told me 10 times,” I said.
“I’m making progress. My therapist says we made a breakthrough.”
“I’m sure you have,” I said. “Shouldn’t you be having this conversation with Eric?”
She got a hurt look on her face. “No, I don’t. How many times have I told you I haven’t spoken to him since… that week?”
“I have no idea,” I said. “I don’t keep track. I know you’ve mentioned it.”
“Well, I haven’t spoken to him,” she asserted.
“Too bad you couldn’t keep from… no. It doesn’t matter, Lily. You went to visit your sister for a week. You hooked up with your old boyfriend and banged him for a week. I caught you. I moved out and started the divorce. It will be final in 45 days. It’s time to move on, Lily.”
“No, it’s not,” she insisted. “I’ve apologized over and over. I did a really stupid and selfish thing. It will never happen again. If you would just come to the therapist with me…”
“I won’t,” I told her. “I wish you all the best, Lily. I don’t want to see you suffering, but I’m done. I was done the first time you slept with him. Done, Lily. I won’t have this conversation again. Please, just leave me alone.” Fuck, it had been six months, and I was tired.
I got up and left. At some point, you lose the ability to be angry, hurt, sad, and the only thing left is what was in your character before you plunged into the nightmare. The numbness and weariness are there, but you’ll move on and recover.
I went to work, packed up some things I needed and drove out to the river. This was my place. Lily had what was our home in town, and I had the place on the river. I turned off the highway and stopped for ice at the convenience store on the corner. I noticed someone sitting there against the wall when I walked in, but I paid no attention. It was one of those stores with lots of prepared food on those roller things, and I realized I was hungry. I looked it over. It would be awful, filled with all sorts of unhealthy shit, and delicious. I chuckled to myself. I would get exactly what you would expect from convenience store food.
When I came back out into the sweltering heat, I was going to hurry to the air conditioning of my truck. I noticed two police cars, and three cops were standing in front of the person sitting on the sidewalk.
The local cops had a bad habit around there of harassing the unhoused. I had read an article about them bulldozing a community of tents someone had donated to unhoused people a few miles up the river, and shit like that always pissed me off. Like those people didn’t have enough to deal with; cops rousting them was stupid and unnecessary. I stopped and looked at the sitting person. It was a girl, she looked like a waif, probably late teens.
“Hey,” I called to her. “You ready?”
The cops looked over at me. “You know her?” one asked.
“Of course,” I said. “She’s my neighbor. She came with me and was waiting out here.”
I saw her shoot me a look and I noticed huge brown eyes, so dark they looked black in the shade of the awning.
I held out my hand to her, and although the cops eyed me suspiciously, they said nothing as the girl rose to her feet and took my hand, grabbing her backpack.
I held her door while she climbed in the truck, walked around and got in. She was hot, sweating, and I started it and got the air conditioning blasting. “Hey, my name’s Rogers. I don’t think they’re leaving.” I nodded at the cops. “I’ll drop you anywhere you want to go. They’ll probably hassle you if we don’t drive away.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
Her voice was low and a little husky, very musical and I thought she would sound great singing jazz.
I pulled away and stopped at the highway. “Where to?” I asked.
She hesitated a minute, then said, “You know where Hayden Park is?”
“Yeah, is that where you want to go?”
She nodded, and I pulled out. The aroma of the food I had was filling the truck and I saw her sniff and her tummy rumbled. She looked at me apologetically. I could tell she needed it much worse than I did, so I passed her the sack.
She wouldn’t take it. “I don’t have any money.” Her voice was almost a whisper.
“I didn’t ask,” I said. “Look at me. Do I look like I’m about to starve?”
She glanced over and gave me a shy smile. “No.”
“You eat it,” I said. “It was an impulse buy for me. I didn’t need it, and to be honest, here, I shouldn’t have bought it.”
I got that little smile again. She took the sack. “Okay. Thank you.” I could hardly hear her. Another of those impulse things took over and I swung into the Target parking lot. “Can we talk a little while you eat?” I asked.
She looked scared. “Please, Mr. Rogers, I… I… should just go.”
I laughed. “Rogers is my first name. I’m really not going to do anything bad to you, I promise. I’m totally harmless. You can ask my daughter. Would you like for me to call her?”
She looked confused. “I…”
“Here.” I punched the Snapchat call for Selina. She answered, and I held my phone so my new friend could see. A little blonde pixie appeared on the screen. “Hey, Dad. Whacha doin?” she asked.
“I have a guest,” I told her. “This is… I’m sorry, I don’t know your name,” I said to my rider.
“It’s Nisha,” she said.
“I met Nisha at the Quick Mart and some cops were hassling her,” I said. “She’s getting ready to eat some food we got, but she’s a little nervous with me. What do you think we should do?”
“Where are you?” Selina asked.
“We’re about seven miles from the river house,” I told her. “We’re sitting in the Target parking lot.”
“I’ll get Gram to bring me over there,” she said. “We’ll be there when you get there. Bring her home.”
“Okay, baby, see you there,” I ended the conversation.
“Mr…. Rogers…” she started. I burst out laughing, and she looked at me like I’d lost my mind.
“Sorry, that’s just hilarious,” I said, wiping my eyes. “Mr. Rogers…” I had to laugh some more. She just continued to stare.
“Umm… Mr. Rogers? You know, like the TV guy? Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.”
She just looked blank. “Okay, I can see you don’t know who that is. I’ll explain on the way, okay? We’re meeting my daughter, Selina, at our house. You’ll be safe, okay?”
She nodded hesitantly, and I saw her eyes drop to the sack of food. I pulled back out on the highway. “You dig in, and I’ll tell you the saga of Mr. Rogers.”
She was obviously starving, because she devoured the taquitos, the chicken crunch rolls and the enchiladas like a wolf. I gave her the bottle of strawberry/banana Naked Juice I’d bought, and she took a drink, smiling shyly at me.
“Okay,” I began. “When I was a kid, there was this show on TV called Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. It had this really bland dude who did educational TV for kids. You with me?”
She nodded. “Well, the dude was like 100 years old and it was like watching every grandfather you’ve ever imagined on TV. The idea of you calling me Mr. Rogers just seemed really funny to me. Understand? I mean, I’m older than you, obviously, but I’m not exactly old enough to be anyone’s grandfather, you know?”
She nodded again, chewing until her mouth was empty. “Yes, I get it.”
You don’t talk much, do you, Nisha?”
She shook her head. “I guess not.”
“Nisha, do you mind me asking how old you are?” I asked.
“No, I don’t mind,” she said. She was obviously hesitant. I waited, but she never said anything.
“Okay, how old are you?” I asked.
That got me a little smile. “I’m 17,” she said. “I’ll be 18 next month.”
“Jesus, honey, you’re a minor,” I said. “Do your parents or guardians, or whatever know where you are?”
She looked at me with stricken eyes. “I don’t have any…” Those huge eyes, now golden in the sunlight, started to fill up with tears.
“Hey, it’s okay,” I said. “We’ll just talk about something else until we get home, okay?”
She nodded and sniffed a little. “I need a tissue,” she said.
I fished around in the back and found a box. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose before digging back into her food.
“You like music?” I asked.
She nodded. “What kind?” I asked.
“Umm… I guess all kinds,” she said. “I don’t like country music.”
“Smart girl,” I said. “I don’t either.” I unlocked my phone and handed it to her. “Pull up YouTube or Spotify and play something you like.”
“I don’t know how,” she said.
“Oh… Well, hold it up here,” I said. She held it up and I told Siri to play Saint Motel.
That filled the awkward silence, I saw her knee bounce a little to the music and we soon pulled up at the house. Nisha looked at the house, trepidation obviously her foremost thought. You could see it on her face.
Mom and Selina were sitting in Mom’s car, and Selina jumped out and came running. She opened Nisha’s door and started pulling her out.
“Baby, let Nisha get her food,” I cautioned.
“Oh, okay, I’ll help,” Selina said.
Mom got out at a more leisurely pace and we went inside. “Make yourself at home,” I told Nisha. “Do you need anything?”
“Umm… could I use your restroom?” she asked.
Selina dragged her off to the downstairs common bath and waited outside the door while I put the bag of ice in the fridge.
“Rogers, who is that girl?” Mom asked. “She’s young. You’re going to get in trouble.”
“We’ll see,” I said. “Let’s talk to her. Get her story, then we’ll see what can be done.”
She came out after a bit and I seated her at the breakfast bar. Mom sat on one side of her and Selina on the other, while I made me a sandwich. “You want one?” I asked her.
She nodded and I gave her that one and made myself another. “Here’s the deal,” I told Mom and Selina. “I stopped at Quick Mart for a bag of ice. I saw Nisha here sitting on the sidewalk outside. You know how hot it is. She was in the shade. I grabbed some junk food and when I came out, the cops were there. I could tell they were going to run her off, so I pretended like I knew her. I gave her the food and I was just talking to her, but I could tell she was afraid of me, so I thought if she knew I had you, Selina, she wouldn’t be so scared.”
I turned to Nisha. “Are you feeling better now that my mother and Selina are here? This is Kristen, my mother, by the way.”
Mom, in her typical blunt way, put her arm over Nisha’s shoulders and asked, “Are you living on the street, sweetheart?”
Nisha nodded.
“How did that happen?” Mom asked.
Nisha was visibly shaking. “I… I can’t… please, I’m thankful for the food, but I…”
Selina stood and pressed herself against Nisha, her little arms around Mia’s slender body and hugged her. “I know it’s scary,” she said, “but Dad is really nice and Gram loves everyone. You can talk to us, and it’ll be okay, I promise.”
Tears began rolling down Nisha’s dusky cheeks. “My mom… died,” she finally choked out. “I don’t know my dad. I never did. I don’t have any grandparents. Mom’s parents live in Mexico. After Mom died, some people came and they made me… made me go to this group home. They said they’d put me in foster care. I hated that place. The people were mean and hated me. They hated all the kids, and I… I had Mom’s ATM card. There was like $400 in there. I got my stuff and hid my backpack in the bushes. We were outside one day and I got it and just walked away.”
“Oh, my God, honey,” Mom said. “I am so sorry. How long ago was that?”
“Two months,” Nisha said. “I ran out of money for food this week. I’m afraid to go to the shelters. They’ll make me go back.”
“Where have you been staying?” I asked.
“In the park,” she said, “but the police come and make you leave if they find you. I’m afraid someone is going to hurt me, too, or rape me. One guy tried. I have a knife and I threatened him.”
Mom was shocked, I could tell. Selina just hugged Nisha tighter. “We won’t let anyone hurt you,” she said. “We won’t, right, Dad?”
I shook off my paralysis. “No, of course not,” I said. “Mom?”
She also made an effort to pull herself together. “We need to talk to your sister,” she told me. “She’s in Sacramento. Nisha is coming to stay with me until Sarah gets home.”
My sister was an attorney, and I thought if anyone would know about shit like this, it was her. I knew she’d gotten involved with being an advocate for the unhoused before. Maybe she’d have some idea.
Selina didn’t like that idea. “No, Gram, she needs to stay with me and Dad. You have too many nosy neighbors, and Grandpa blabs everything to everyone.”
Mom chuckled. “Yes, he does, baby, and I wasn’t thinking about the neighbors.” Mom and Dad lived in one of those big retirement communities, and they certainly did have a bunch of neighbors with way too much time on their hands.
“I… don’t… are you sure?” Nisha looked up at me.
“Positive,” I told her. “Selina and I have bedrooms down here. There are three upstairs, and they have their own bathrooms so you can have all the privacy you need. Is there anything we can do for you right now?”
“Can I use your laundry?” she asked. “I… I don’t have a lot of clothes, but they’re all dirty since I… ran out of money for the laundromat.”
“Of course,” I said. “I’ll show you how to use the washer and dryer.”
“Honey, I have to go,” Mom gave Nisha a hug. “My husband will be wondering where I am. He’s also going to wonder where you are, lovebug, since you were supposed to be spending the weekend with us,” she told Selina.
Selina looked torn. She loved her grandparents, and Dad had promised to take her riding on Sunday.
Nisha was watching and caught that. “Selina, if you want to go with your grandmother, it’s okay,” she said. “I feel safe with your dad now. I was just…”
Selina stood on tiptoe to kiss Nisha’s cheek. “Grandpa is taking me horseback riding tomorrow,” she said. “I promise Dad will take care of you, and I’ll come back after we go riding, okay?”
“Yes, that’s okay,” Nisha said. “Thank you.”
We walked them out to the car, and sent them on their way. I sighed and turned to Nisha. “Let’s do some laundry,” I said.
We went back inside, she got her backpack and I led her to the utility room. She began pulling things out of her bag and I got the jug full of little laundry soap packets. I watched, and Nisha seemed embarrassed with me watching, so I turned and got some clothes of Selina’s out of the dryer and folded them while she put hers in.
She had two pairs of jeans, other than the ones she had on, three shirts, two sets of panties and bras and some socks. They were all dirty, and I could smell them six feet away. They hadn’t been nice when they were new, and that had obviously been a while back. I felt horrible for her.
I threw in two of the soap things, just to compensate, and we started the washer. I gave her the tour. My house was one of those modern industrial types: open to the ceiling above, concrete floors, and there was a flight of stairs leading to the second floor. The back wall facing the river was all glass, and I could see Nisha taking it all in.
We checked out the three bedrooms upstairs and she picked the one the farthest from the stairs, over my bedroom on the first floor. I showed her everything in the bathroom.
“I really wLily take a shower as soon as my clothes get done so I have some clean ones,” she said.
I eyed her slender frame. She was about the same size as Lily, I figured, except thinner. Much thinner, I thought.
“I have an idea,” I said. “I still have some of my soon to be ex-wife’s clothes here. You’re thinner, but they should fit okay. If you want, you could wear some of her shorts with a drawstring and one of her t-shirts. That way you could take a shower, put on some clean clothes and maybe take a little nap if you wanted. I have some chores to do, and then we can cook dinner. Does that sound good?”
“Oh, yes, it does,” she said. “I don’t like being dirty, Rogers, I just…”
I patted her arm. “I know, sweetheart. Let’s go see what we can scrounge up.”
I took her down to my bedroom and we dug around in a couple of chests and found something she was happy with, and I went outside while she went up to shower.
Selina and I had been out on the jet-skis the day before and they were still in the water. I moved them up in their places and got in the boat. I had some lines set and I hadn’t run them that day. I caught two nice catfish and pulled in the other lines. I filleted the catfish, cleaned everything up and went up to the house.
I couldn’t hear any sound, and I figured Nisha might have taken my advice and had herself a nap. That was good. I figured it would be tough sleeping outside in some hidey-hole in 90-degree weather, worried about someone finding you. She was probably exhausted. I nearly cried when I thought about it. The air conditioning would be a real treat, too.
I peeled potatoes, chopped onions, made a batter for the catfish, hush-puppy batter, made some tartar sauce, took four ears of corn out of the refrigerator, put the potatoes and onions on to fry and got my fish in the oil.
Things were really beginning to smell good and I was dipping up the last of the fish and hush-puppies out of the deep fryer when I heard the door open upstairs.
I looked up when I saw Nisha coming down the stairs, and I was a little shocked. This was a different girl than the one I met at Quick Mart. She still looked a little waifish because she was so skinny, but she was clean, for one thing, and having her hair clean made an amazing difference. It stood up and out everywhere, glossy ringlets and curls bursting forth into a wild cascade down to about the middle of her back. There was a little strand of curls or two nearly covering her left eye, and I realized she was a very beautiful girl. Her dusky skin glowed with fresh youth and her long brown legs extended about a mile downward from those shorts. She was barefoot, and just about the cutest thing I’d ever seen.
She caught my eyes on her and hesitated, giving me a shy smile, her very white teeth flashing.
“All clean and napped?” I asked.
She nodded, all those curls swirling. “Yes, thank you. I love the bed, and it’s so cool in my room! What are you cooking? It smells sooo good.”
“Come and see,” I said, beckoning to her.
She came down the rest of the stairs to stand beside me. “Plates are over there in that cupboard,” I said, pointing. “Glasses are two doors to the right, and the silverware is here.” I pulled out the drawer.
She got us plates, glasses and silverware. “What will we drink?” she asked.
“What do you like?”
“Whiskey,” she said and shot me a mischievous grin.
I laughed. “Right. And Mom would kill me tomorrow when you told her I let you drink whiskey.”
“Water is fine,” she said. “I can’t always… can’t always get good water.”
“There are bottles in the fridge,” I said. “There’s Dr. Pepper, that’s what I want, Selina drinks orange soda, so there is some of that, I think we have sweet tea, milk and a few kinds of juice. Go look and get what you want. Ice is in the door.”
She opened the refrigerator and looked in. “Oh, my God,” she said. “I… you have… all this food and stuff!”
I almost cried again. This girl was breaking my heart. She was digging ice out of the compartment in the freezer, and I went over and took the glasses, closing the door and showing her how to get ice through the door. Evidently, she’d never seen that before, and she had to try it. She had pomegranate juice, and I had Dr. Pepper.
We finally got down to business with dinner, and I heaped her plate with food, giving her a little bowl for her tartar sauce. “I like to dip my fish in that,” I said.
“What does it taste like?” she asked.
“Well, tartar sauce. Kind of like ranch, or something.”
She dipped one of her pieces of fish in and took a bite. A look of bliss spread over her features. “Yum! I like tartar sauce.”
We both laughed and devoted ourselves to eating. We talked while we ate, mostly me asking her questions and her answering.
“Where did you and your mom live… before,” I asked.
She swallowed some potatoes. “Encanto,” she said. “We kinda lived in a dumpy apartment. These potatoes are delicious.”
“One of my favorites,” I said. “If I ate them very often, I’d be too fat to walk, but you can use the calories. You’re skinny as a string. Stick with me, kiddo, and I’ll have you waddling around with me.”
She laughed, and it was one of the most delightful sounds I’d heard. That was the first time I’d heard her laugh, and I decided I was going to make her do it a lot.
“Did your mom work?” I asked.
“Yeah, she had a job working for a little Mexican restaurant. She could cook Mexican food. She didn’t make a lot, though.”
“She was Hispanic?” I asked.
She nodded. “Yes. She told me my dad was black, but I never met him. He took off before I was born.”
I wanted to hug her, but I didn’t want to scare her. “I’m so sorry, Nisha. I feel terrible for you. Do you think it would be okay if I hugged you?”
She looked up at me and those huge obsidian eyes had tears pooling in them. She nodded, those curls bouncing, and I leaned over and pulled her in. She buried her face in my shoulder and began to sob. It was tearing my heart out.
“Hey, we have food to eat,” I said. “Eat first and cry later, okay? I even have some key lime pie, for dessert. I’m sorry for making you cry, Nisha.”
I got a watery little chuckle and she looked up at me again, tears streaking her smooth brown face. “I need a tissue,” she said.
I jumped up and grabbed the box, and she composed herself. We went back to eating and I tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t make her sad.
“Did you go to school?”
“Yes. I like school and I get really good grades, but I kinda… had to drop out, you know?”
“Yeah, I know,” I said. “Do you think you’ll go back?”
“I want to,” she said. “I don’t know how I will, though. I need to get a job, but it’s hard when you’re 17 and don’t have like parents to sign stuff. It’s hard when you don’t have a place to live, Rogers. I feel like I’m always dirty, and no one wants to hire you when you aren’t clean and you have dirty clothes.”
I had no idea, honestly, never having been remotely in her situation. I could see the vicious loop, though. “Yeah, I guess I see all that.”
“If I ever have a chance, I’m going back to school, but it won’t be until after I turn 18 and have enough money. I want to go to college, Rogers, but I don’t know how I’ll ever do it.”
“Hey, you keep those dreams,” I told her. “I think you’ll find a way.”
She smiled up at me. “Thanks. What are these little crunchy bread things with the onions in them?”
“Hush-puppies,” I said. “Mom was a Southern girl and it’s her recipe. Do you like them?”
“Oh, yeah,” she said. “Can I have some more?”
“You don’t have to ask,” I told her. “Eat everything here you want. If you see something in the fridge and you’re hungry or thirsty, eat it or drink it. Anything you need to use, just do it, okay?”
She nodded. “Thank you, Rogers. I’ll try to pay you back someday.”
“No, you won’t,” I told her. “I work and make lots of money so I can have things myself, and help people I like. I definitely like you. I don’t even want you to think like that. I’m not loaning you anything. I’m giving it to you, okay?”
She nodded and teared up again. “Don’t start that!” I said. “We have pie!”
She had to giggle. “I don’t think I can eat pie right now,” she said. “I’m stuffed.” She had made quite a dent in the dinner, there were three stripped corn cobs on her plate and I had no idea where that skinny little thing put it all.
“I have an idea,” I said. “Do you like coffee?”
“Do you have creamer?” she asked.
“Oh, my God. Not creamer,” I protested.
She laughed, and that thrill shot through me again. “Yass,” she said.
I made a pot and dug out some creamer I always kept around for Sarah, we got big mugs and I asked her if she would like to walk down by the river with me.
She liked that idea, and we found her a pair of Lily’s old flip-flops to wear. We carried our coffee down to the dock, and I felt her little hand slip into mine. She looked up at me. “Is it okay?” she asked.
“It is. Very okay,” I told her. “I always want to hold hands with beautiful girls.”
A peachy blush stole over those gorgeous features and she got very shy. “Do you like boats,” I asked quickly.
“I don’t know. I’ve never been on a boat,” she said.
“Well, you, me and Tally will go out tomorrow,” I said. “You can decide when we go.”
We sat in camp chairs on the dock and watched the river while the sun set. “It’s beautiful here, Rogers,” she said. “How long have you lived here?”
“Well, I’ve owned the place for like 15 years, I said. “I’ve only lived here full time for about six months. I’m going through a divorce, Nisha.”
She visibly shrank. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’ll tell you if you want to hear it. If you stay very long, you are going to know. Selina will spend the week with her mom when school starts and I won’t have her all the time. That’s what hurts me the most, you know?”
“Do you think it would be okay if I hug you?” she asked.
We both burst into laughter as she echoed my earlier words to her. “Yeah, I think so,” I said.
She set down her cup, stood, came and pulled me to my feet, pulling me into a tight hug, nuzzling her cheek into my chest. We hugged for a very long time, just two slightly broken souls sharing a touch.
She sat back down and took a sip of her coffee. “What happened with your wife?” she asked.
“Well, we’d been married almost 10 years,” I said. “Selina is eight. We are originally from the Denver area. We moved here when we graduated from college. She was having a thing with her sister and a bunch of old school friends back in Colorado. I didn’t know it at the time, but one of those “friends” was her old boyfriend from high school. They decided to reenact their old hookups. They went at it hot and heavy for a week, then she came home and thought everything should be okay.”
“How did you find out?” she asked.
“I have old friends back there, too. One of them sent me a video of a party,” I said. “It was kinda X-rated.”
She blushed. “Wow! What did you do?”
“Well, we had this place,” I said. “I moved all my shit, sorry, all my stuff, here and I was gone when she got back. She called, wondering where Selina and I were, and I dropped Selina off with Mom and met her at a restaurant.”
“What did she say?”
“She was sort of like she had all these unresolved feelings from how they broke up. She got caught up in it, made a huge mistake, got all the issues with herself settled and now she was back to being only mine.”
“Bullshit,” Nisha said. She giggled when I shot her a look. “Umm. I hate to tell you, Rogers, but I cuss a little,” she said.
“I am shocked, shocked,” I told her.
She laughed. “Well, get used to it. Selina is going to cuss, too, when she’s my age.”
“The youth of our country are deplorable,” I lectured her. “Drinking whiskey, cussing, God knows what you’ll do next.”
She burst out laughing, and it took her a minute to get over it. She got serious after a minute. “I… I do worse things,” she said.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.
“No, not really, but you should know, I used to smoke weed sometimes with kids from the apartments. Since I ran out of money, I… I’ve stolen things, food, water. I was going to try to steal something from that store today.”
She made a little choking sound, and she was sobbing. “I’m so sorry, Rogers. I hate it, but I was so hungry and thirsty. Please don’t hate me.”
I moved quickly to kneel in front of her, pulling her forward to crush her slender form against me. “Noo, I can never hate you, Nisha. I know. I might do the same thing in your place. You don’t need to do that as long as you’re with me, understand?”
She nodded, sobbing into my chest. “I’m afraid,” she managed. “I can’t just stay here and sponge off you and Selina. I’ll… I’ll…”
“Stop, please, Nisha. You’re killing me here. We’ll figure it all out,” I said. “I promise, whatever happens, you won’t go back to the street. I promise. Do you believe me?”
I took her little pointed chin with my finger and pushed it up until she was looking at me, her beautiful sad features streaked with trails of tears. “Do you believe me?” I asked again.
She nodded against the pressure of my finger, and I squeezed her again. “Now, it’s going to be dark in a minute. This is today. What do you need today?”
“I can stay?” she asked.
“You can stay,” I answered.
“I don’t need anything, then. Oh, I need some toothpaste, please, Rogers. I… ran out.”
I thought for a minute. “You remember that Target where we were sitting when we called Selina?” I asked her.
“Yes.”
“Let’s go back there and get you anything you need,” I said. “Toothpaste and anything else.”
“Noo, you’ve done so much already,” she said.
“Yes,” I insisted. “You need things. I need to pick up a couple of things. It will make me so happy, Nisha, to do this for you. You may not know it, but one of the best feelings in the world is when you help someone who needs help. I promise. Sometimes it’s an inconvenience and you don’t do it, but it always, always, makes you feel good when you do. It will make me like myself. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I guess,” she said. “I mean, I do, but I’ve never been able to help anyone, so I don’t really know.”
“Do you trust me?” I asked.
She hesitated. “I haven’t known you for very long,” she finally said. “Yes, I do trust you, Rogers. Anyone who has a daughter like Selina and a mom like yours is a good person, I know. You have been so nice to me, and you don’t even know me.”
“Well, let’s go to Target, then,” I said.
She held my hand again on the way back to the house. I grabbed my wallet and keys and we were off. She tried to do voice commands to my phone, and finally got some music playing. It was the Lumineers, she told me, and it wasn’t bad. We bounced along and we had time for two songs before we got to Target.
She looked adorable in her too big clothes, too big flip-flops, but she wasn’t the least bit self-conscious, and she grabbed my hand and swung our arms in cadence to our steps.
“You look like you’re marching me in here,” I said.
That got her laughing and happy. “I am,” she said. “I hope your credit card is prepared to meet its doom.”
We walked in together, and the security guard smiled at her. “Dragged Dad in for some shopping?” he asked.
“Hey, he’s my sugar daddy,” she said. “What’s with the ‘Dad’ shit?”
He looked shocked, and she got a big kick out of it. “Just kidding,” she said. She looked up at me with a mischievous glint in those dark eyes. “What should we get first, Daddy?”
I had to laugh at her antics. This was a far cry from the shy, dirty, sad waif I’d met less than a day before outside Quick Mart. “Well, let’s grab a cart,” I said. “We know we need toothpaste, so we can start over there.”
She wanted to push the cart, and I strolled along with her. I got a snap from Selina and checked it while we were walking. “Everything okay?” It showed her and Mom snuggled up on Mom’s couch, with Dad asleep beside Selina. Typical.
“Yep, we’re shopping at Target,” I sent back.
“Hey, I wLily go to Target,” she sent.
I showed Nisha. “Tell her we can come with her, too,” she said.
That got me a big heart emoji, and an “I love you, night. Night, Nisha.”
Nisha didn’t want just any toothpaste. It had to be Crest Minty Fresh in a little bottle, with Scope. “I like this one,” she said.
“Well, you have beautiful teeth,” I said, “so that must be the one. Do you have a good toothbrush?”
“Mine’s kinda worn,” she said.
She had a special one of those she wanted, too. I discovered quickly that she didn’t approve of my bath products. “I’ve got different kind of hair and skin than you or Selina,” she said. She got all kinds of products and a pack of five little hat looking things.
“What are those for?” I asked.
“I wear them at night,” she said. “It keeps the product in my hair and off the pillow.” Who knew? I certainly didn’t.
She looked down at the little mound of things she had and frowned. She picked up two tubes of something and started to put them back.
“What are you doing, Nisha?” I asked.
“It’s too much,” she said. “Imma put this back.”
I grabbed her. “No, you’re not,” I said. “You need it, I want you to have it.”
She acquiesced, reluctantly, and we walked through the food. Several times she asked if we had any of something. Sometimes we did, but not always. “Will you let me cook for you, Rogers?”
“If you want to,” I said. “I cook for myself, and I’ll make you food. It isn’t fancy, but you’ll have a fat butt in no time eating my cooking.”
She laughed. “Fat is not something I struggle with,” she said.
“I can tell. Get what you want. I’ll eat it.”
We wandered past the electronics, and I asked her if she wanted a phone. “Noo, they cost too much,” she said. “I have one, but no minutes.”
“How about if we get you one, not a break the bank one, load it with minutes and you tell me when you run out,” I said.
She pulled me into an aisle. “I’m kinda scared,” she said.
“Of what? Phones?”
She laughed. “No, silly. Rogers, you sound like you’re thinking I’ll be staying a while with you.”
“Do you have somewhere to be?” I asked her.
She giggled. “Yeah, I have a big mansion in Sun City I’m missing. Really, though, Rogers. You’d just let me stay a while?”
I made up my mind, right then. I’d have to clear it with Selina, but I knew she’d be ecstatic. “As far as I’m concerned, you can stay forever,” I said. “I’ll never make you leave, Nisha. If you do dumb shit, I won’t like it and you may want to leave because I’m disappointed with you. Are you going to do dumb shit?”
“No, never,” she said.
I laughed. “Don’t kid me. I know you will. I will, too. So will Selina. We have a rule, Nisha. If you do something stupid, you don’t argue or try to justify it. You just apologize, stop it and we never mention it again, okay?”
“I like that rule,” she said. “I’ll try really hard not to do stupid shit.”
“Are you going to fight with Selina?” I asked.
“How can you even ask that? No, of course not. It would be like fighting with a kitten. She’s too adorable to fight with, Rogers.”
I laughed. “No, she isn’t, but she is adorable and she doesn’t like to fight. Okay, it’s settled. You can stay until you’re ready to leave. Deal?”
She threw herself on me and kissed me. “I can’t believe… you’re so… I didn’t think I’d ever… ever find anyone like you. I’m going to be so good, Rogers. I’m going to make you proud of me.”
“I already am,” I assured her. “Now, people are starting to stare.”
“I don’t care.” She kissed me again and turned to the cart. We got her a phone. It wasn’t an iPhone, but it wasn’t the cheap one, either. She couldn’t wait to use it. “I want to have Snapchat so I can talk to you and Selina,” she said.
“If you use the WiFi at home, it won’t use your minutes, either,” I told her.
“Dope,” she said.
I made her buy clothes, enough so that she could go a week without having to wash, and we got her new sneakers, flip-flops that fit and a pair of black flats she liked. She really had very simple tastes, and even Target was a big deal to her.
“Rogers, can I go off by myself for a minute?” she asked.
“Are you going to run away?” I asked.
She looked hurt. “No. I need some… girl things.”
I laughed. “I was married for a decade, baby doll. I know what tampons are.”
She was blushing furiously. “I’ll even buy them for you if you need me to,” I said.
“Oh, my God. Really?”
“I’ve done it dozens of times,” I said. “I’ll need explicit instructions, though. I once asked Lily if she wanted the lemon or the lime, because the boxes were yellow and green.”
She got a good laugh out of that, and led me away to the feminine products aisle. She still blushed when she put the box in the cart, and it was a very interesting effect on her brown glow. She took on a little peachy tint, and it was about the cutest thing I had ever seen.
We were finally ready to check out, and we made quite a dent in my debit card. I heard her gasp when the guy told me the total. I reached over and squeezed her and she relaxed.
When we got to the truck and got all the stuff inside, she sat there for a minute, saying nothing. “Buckle up, girl,” I said. “It’s the law.”
“Rogers, are you rich?” She looked at me seriously. “I mean, you have that dope-ass house, and I know you had another one. You have this truck, a boat, jet-skis and you act like us spending all that money in there wasn’t a big deal.”
I had to chuckle. “I don’t even know what ‘rich’ means, Nisha. I’m not going to miss $300. I won’t miss 3,000, or 30,000. If you spend 300,000, we’ll have to do some things.”
She gasped. “Oh, my God!”
“Don’t worry about money,” I said. “I own my own business and it makes a ton of money. I sell flooring, all kinds, but mostly to big industrial clients. I sell to warehouses, wholesalers, big installers, and I have over 100 people working for me.”
Her eyes were as big as saucers. “You mean, like carpet?”
“Well, yes, but other stuff people put on their floors, too.”
“Will you give me a job?” she asked.
“Yes, when you’re 18,” I said.
“Let’s go home,” she said. I liked that very much. She said “home,” and it sounded so right I couldn’t believe the feelings I had when she said it. A wave swept through my body and I sat there for a minute.
“Home,” she said, and I laughed.
“Home it is.”
We went home and finally had that piece of key lime pie.
*****
Selina came bursting through the door Sunday about noon, Mom following at a more sedate pace, befitting her status as the family matron. “Where’s Nisha?” Selina could hardly contain herself.
“She is sleeping in,” I told her. “She’s really tired, baby. You know she hasn’t had a bed and has been sleeping outside. We have to let her get rested up.”
She looked thoughtful. “Yes. I know that wouldn’t be very fun. How late do you think she’ll sleep?”
I had to chuckle. My baby was full of enthusiasm and life, and everything had to be done at breakneck speed. “I don’t know,” I said. “She’ll get up when she gets up. You, me and Gram can just talk until then, okay?”
She nodded and went off to get a bowl of Peanut Butter Captain Crunch. I hugged Mom and we sat at the bar while Selina devoured her cereal.
“What did you guys do while I was gone?” she asked.
“Well, we talked a lot,” I said. “We went shopping at Target, as you know, and got her some stuff she needed. Selina, I have to talk to you about something. How would you feel about Nisha staying with us for a while?”
She squealed. “Really? Oh yeah, I would love that. I really, really like her, Dad.”
I could tell Mom wasn’t nearly so enthusiastic. “Rogers, she’s a minor child,” she said. “You could get in very serious trouble.”
“Are you going to rat me out?” I asked.
She laughed. “No. I just… I know what you’re doing, Rogers, and I admire you for it. I know she’s a tragic story. Just be careful, okay?”
“That’s my plan,” I said. “She’ll be 18 soon, and that won’t be a problem anymore. Do you know, she asked me for a job?”
“Are you going to give her one?” Selina asked.
“If she still wants one when she’s 18,” I said. “I think she should finish school, though, don’t you?”
Selina nodded, and Mom also approved. “How long do you think she’ll stay?” Mom asked. “I guess a better question is, how long will you let her stay?”
“I have no idea,” I said. “Where would she go? Back out on the street?”
“I wasn’t suggesting that,” Mom said.
“I think she should stay as long as she needs to stay,” Selina said. “It’ll be like having a big sister, Dad. You know I’ve always wanted a sister or a brother.”
“Yes, I know.” I chuckled. “You’ve told me every day since you were like four.”
“Well, I still do,” she said. “Since you and Mom… aren’t together, you aren’t going to give me one, so I want Nisha.”
“Selina, Nisha isn’t a puppy,” Mom said. “Why don’t you just see what happens. I know she’ll love you, and I expect you’ll love her. You do that: love people, and you have so much love to give. Your grandfather and I thank God for you every day.”
Selina dimpled up. “Well, I do love you and Grandpa. I just know I’ll love Nisha, too.”
“I’m sure you will, button,” I told her. “She’s been hurt a lot, baby, and we have to let her go slow if she needs that, okay?”
“Yeah, I get it,” she said.
“How long are you staying?” I asked Mom.
“Not long,” she said. “Your father wants to go to the swap meet. Why?”
“I was going to see if you wanted to go out on the river,” I said. “You and Dad got dinner plans?”
“Not really,” she said.
“WLily come over?”
“I’ll ask him and let you know, okay?”
She left and Selina helped me make sandwiches and pack coolers. We took them down to the dock, and when we got back, Nisha was up, also indulging in the dreadful cereal. Selina squealed and ran to her, wrapping her up like an anaconda.
“Good morning, Nisha. We’re going out on the boat,” she said. “You’re gonna love it.”
“If I’m going to be with you, I know I will,” Nisha said, giving Selina the same hug she was getting.
Selina looked up at her, and did a double-take. “Wow! Nisha, you look so pretty!”
She did, too. She had on a little makeup, just eye makeup, and it really made those obsidian eyes pop. Her lashes were incredibly long and thick, and the mascara just made them stand out even more.
“Can you swim?” Selina asked.
“Yes, but not very well,” Nisha said. “I haven’t… had a chance to swim very much.”
“That’s okay,” Selina said. “You can wear a life jacket and we can swim in the river.”
“That sounds like fun,” Nisha said. “What should I wear?”
“Well, I wear shorts and a top,” Selina said, “and my swimsuit under. I take off my stuff to swim, then put it back on when I get out.”
“I… I don’t have a swimsuit,” Nisha said.
“Dad, why didn’t you get her one at Target?” Selina asked. “We gotta get her one, dummy.”
I thought about that for a minute. “Nisha, can you drive?” I asked.
“Yes, I took driver’s education at school,” she said. “I have like a provisional license.”
“Selina, would you want to go with Nisha to get a swimsuit while I get the boat ready?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah,” she said. “There’s a shop not too far, Nisha. I got my last one there. They have dope stuff.”
Nisha was looking at me oddly. “What?” I asked.
“I… I just… I’ll be really careful, Rogers, and take really good care of her, I promise. I just can’t believe you trust…” she started crying.
“Hey, none of that,” I told her. “This is happy day. I do trust you, Nisha, so let’s forget about that, okay?”
She nodded and dried her eyes. I walked them out to the garage and Nisha gasped. “I… I can’t drive that,” she stammered. “Noo, Rogers. I might have an accident or scratch it or something. Please, let me take the truck.”
“That,” was my 2010 Lexus LFA, and it was beautiful, sitting there under the lights, the bright yellow gleaming.
“Umm… Nisha, we drive it all the time,” Selina said. “It’s really cool. You’ll love it.”
“It’s too expensive, I just know something bad will happen.” She was practically in tears.
“Nisha, I have insurance,” I assured her. “Nothing is going to happen, and if it does, we’ll just fix it, okay? Really, sweetheart. I need the truck to move the boat. Remember, I trust you.” I handed her the keys and my money clip.
She looked at the clip and again she looked at me with anguish in her eyes. “It’s… It’s too much,” she said.
“Bring me back the change,” I told her. I turned her around, swatted her butt and she laughed.
“Oh, my God, I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
I closed her door and watched as they buckled in; I raised the door and Nisha backed carefully out. She eased down the driveway and I was smiling, both on the outside and on the inside. There went my baby, and another girl who was rapidly winning a spot in my heart. I hooked up to the boat, launched it, pulling into the dock slip, tied it off and pulled the truck back up to the house where I dropped the trailer. I went in and changed, packed a bag with sunscreen, towels and sunglasses, then grabbed straw hats. I didn’t think Nisha would need one, but I got her one, just in case.
I heard the garage door, and they came in, chattering away at each other. Nisha ran to me and gave me a hug and a kiss. “Oh, my God, Rogers. I can’t believe you let me drive that fire car! Thank you. I didn’t have an accident or anything, and we parked way away from all the other cars.”
I laughed. “I’m glad you had fun. Go. Change.”
She ran up the stairs, carrying a bag, and Selina scampered off to her room, also carrying a bag. “Hey,” I called after her. “I see you took advantage of old Dad and bought you something.”
She pretended to be shocked. “What? Where?”
I laughed and she disappeared. They both came outside where I was waiting on the back patio in a few minutes. They grabbed sunglasses, and it turned out Nisha wanted the hat. We boarded the boat and we were off.
We had one of those jet boats with the reinforced slick hulls so we could navigate really shallow water, and we ran down the fiver for a couple of miles at speed. Selina was an old hand, but Nisha was glowing, the wind whipping all those curls, one hand holding her hat on and her eyes shining with excitement. We ran a rapid into a large pool and I eased the boat onto the bank. Selina had blankets and we spread them under a big cottonwood tree. It was hot as fuck, and it wasn’t long before Selina wanted to swim.
She took off her outer clothes and waited for Nisha. Nisha was a little hesitant, but Selina’s urging soon had her pulling off her top, then her shorts. I was a little stunned. Good God she was gorgeous. She had on a bikini that matched Selina’s one-piece. It wasn’t bleeding edge, but it was clear that this was a smoking hot girl. She was thin, very thin, and had obviously not been eating well, but that was going to change. She had lots of bones showing, looking a little like one of those anorexic models you see. I hadn’t really thought about it, with her wearing baggy clothes, but damn. She was willowy perfection, acres of gorgeous brown skin, slender, but definitely female, gentle curves that I suspected would be dramatic as she got to an ideal weight for her. I would see about her working out with me.
She glanced at me and saw me watching, blushed and crossed her arms in front of her defensively. I pulled off my tank, ending the awkward moment, and ran into the water, picking Selina up and carrying her, shrieking, into the water until the cool liquid embraced us. I let her go and she swam back until she could touch.
“Come in, Nisha,” she demanded.
Nisha came slowly toward us, sinking down as she got about waist deep. She had put her hair up in two big knots on top of her head, and she looked hilarious with just her head and all that hair out of the water.
“Oooh, it feels nice,” she said.
I grabbed them pool noodles out of the boat and they floated around, relaxing in the cool water. I swam across the river and back, getting a little exercise. We got out after about half an hour, relaxed in the shade until we were hot again, then played in the water some more.
It turned out that Nisha had never skipped rocks, and we taught her how. We had sandwiches, chips and drinks, lounged around until late afternoon and headed back. Nisha became comfortable in her bikini in front of me, and she and Selina had the time of their lives.
I told them Mom and Dad were coming for dinner, which Selina knew but Nisha didn’t. She looked at me. “Rogers, can I cook dinner?” she asked.
“Yeah, I guess, if you want to,” I said. “Are you sure?”
She nodded excitedly. “Yes. I like cooking. Mom taught me and I know a bunch of recipes. I want to cook for you guys.”
We showered, and Nisha wanted to start dinner. I became her assistant. I knew where everything was, and she didn’t. She kept me busy. She had me run to the store for some things, while she cooked meat. She had both chicken and ground beef, and when I got back, she took the tortillas I got her and rolled them up, making two dishes, one with the beef and one with the chicken.
It was interesting watching her as she bustled around, almost at a jog, and by the time Mom and Dad arrived, the house was filled with delicious odors. Dad hadn’t met Nisha, so I introduced them.
My dad was a character. He was an old lecher, always had a joke, some pithy saying, and completely harmless. He flirted with every woman he met, and would have been horrified if any of them had ever taken him seriously. He was completely devoted to Mom, and she tolerated him with amusement.
He hugged everyone, and Nisha was no exception. “Something smells awesome,” he said. “It’s obviously not Rogers. When did you learn how to cook, Rogers?”
“I didn’t,” I said. “This is all Nisha.”
She was blushing, and Dad wouldn’t let her go. “Beautiful, AND you can cook,” he said. “We just have to figure out how to get rid of Kristen and Rogers, then you and Selina can move in with me.”
“Pay no attention to him, honey,” Mom said. “He would have a heart attack in a week with you and Selina around.”
We all laughed, even Dad, and he let Nisha get back to her cooking. We sat around the bar, watching her and talking, and I got up to help her from time to time. She didn’t want to eat at the bar, and insisted we eat at the table. Mom and Selina set the table and Dad and Nisha carried in the food while I poured drinks.
“Do you want a glass of wine?” I asked.
She looked at me. “I don’t know. I’ve never had any.”
I poured her a bit, and she tasted it, wrinkling up her cute little nose. “Yuck,” she said. “No, I don’t want that.”
I poured the glass for me, and got her Dr. Pepper.
The enchiladas were delicious; she had made a tomatillo sauce to cover them and they were smothered in cheese. They were pretty spicy, and just amazing.
“How old did you say you were?” Dad asked her.
“I’m 17,” she said. “I’ll be 18 next month.”
“Well, any woman who can cook like this will be married before she’s 20. You are the total package,” he said.
She blushed and got all shy again. When we finished, we had ice cream and Selina and I cleaned up the dishes while Dad and Mom got better acquainted with Nisha. I gave Selina a little squeeze. “How’s my baby doing?” I asked in a low voice.
“So good,” she said. “Nisha is so fire, Dad. I love her. She loves me, too, I can tell.”
“Of course. You’re very lovable,” I told her. “Everyone loves you. You wLily play some board games?”
“Oh, yes,” she said. I knew she’d be down for that, and Mom and Dad were always fun.
I got the dishwasher started. “Anyone want a margarita?” I asked.
Mom and Dad both did, and I made one without alcohol for Selina. Nisha came to stand beside me. “Can I really have one?”
“Nisha, as far as I’m concerned, in this house, you’re an adult,” I told her. “Jesus, sweetheart, you’ve been taking care of yourself for a while. Do you like margaritas?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I’ve never had one.”
I gave her a sip of mine. She had an interesting reaction, both seeming to like it and maybe not, at the same time. She cocked her head to one side in a cute little “I’m thinking” gesture. “I’ll take one,” she finally decided.
We played games and with the encouragement of my whole family, she just blossomed, all that sparkling personality I was getting to know coming out, and Dad was totally in love with her. I could see Mom getting that warm caring look she had when she looked at Selina, too, as she interacted with Nisha.
They left about 11, and I sat on the sofa while the girls put away the games. Selina came and snuggled up against me, and I could tell I’d be carrying her to bed in a few minutes. Nisha came and stood in front of us. She looked at the sofa on the other side of me, hesitantly.
“Is it okay?” she asked.
I patted the cushion, and she sat close, snuggling me on the opposite side of Selina. I put my arms around each of them, and Nisha and I spoke in quiet voices as Selina’s eyes closed and she was asleep.
Nisha reached her hand across me to smooth a wisp of Selina’s ash-blonde hair behind her ear. “She’s so beautiful, Rogers. I love her.”
“Yes, she is, and I love her with all my heart,” I said. “You’re beautiful, too, Nisha.”
“Thank you,” she said. “I… I don’t feel very beautiful. I’ve thought there must be something wrong with me, like I would never find a place… find someone to love me.” She snuggled in tighter against me. “Thank you, Rogers. You make me feel so good. You let me in your life, made me feel like I’m part of something. You didn’t have to do that, but you did, just because you could. I’ll never forget.”
“It makes me happy for you to be happy,” I told her. “That’s what matters. We all deserve to be happy.”
She kissed my cheek and climbed the stairs, giving me a little wave at the top. I carried Selina to bed and tucked her in before I fell into my own bed. This had been a good day, I thought.
*****
We soon worked out a routine. Selina had a sitter, or she stayed with Mom when I worked, but Nisha insisted that we didn’t need a sitter, that she was perfectly capable of watching Selina, who really didn’t need much watching, anyway. Selina stayed with Nisha, or they both went to Mom’s.
Sarah finally came home, and we got her and Nisha acquainted. They immediately became besties, and Sarah and I had a talk.
“I don’t want her going to foster care or some shit,” I told her. “God, Sarah, you know how awful that is.”
“Yes, I do. There are plenty of unhoused kids around, Rogers. I try to help them, be their advocate, but it’s overwhelming.”
“I know you do,” I said. My little sister was a special kind of caring person. “What do you think I should do?”
“Well, no one is looking for her, obviously,” she said. “Why change anything? It seems like you have a perfect arrangement. Unless you don’t want her. If you don’t, I do.”
“Oh, no,” I said. “You aren’t getting her. You’d corrupt her in a week.”
She laughed. “Right, bring her over to the dark side.” It was a joke between us. Sarah was gay, and we were cool with each other about it.
“So just go along and wait for her to turn 18?” I asked.
“That’s my advice,” she said. “You might want to have a talk with Selina, so she doesn’t spill any tea to Lily. She might start some shit.”
I hadn’t thought about that. I’d have to mention it. We had that talk the next morning. It was Selina’s weekend to spend with her mom, and I figured I’d better put a bug in her ear.
“Baby, you know that Nisha is 17, right?” I said.
“Yes, so what?”
“Well, people have rules, laws. Kids aren’t supposed to live by themselves when they’re 17,” I explained.
“Why not?” she asked.
“Well, you’re considered a child until you’re 18,” I said. “Your parents are supposed to take care of you.”
“But Nisha doesn’t have any parents,” she said, “and we take care of her. She lives with us, and not by herself.”
“Yes, baby, I know, but other people wouldn’t understand,” I told her. “That’s why we tell your grandparents’ neighbors she’s your babysitter. If someone found out she’s only 17 and lives with us instead of her parents, they might tell the people who would take her away from us and make her go somewhere people wouldn’t love her and would be mean to her. That’s why we don’t ever tell anyone she lives with us. She’s just your babysitter. Do you understand?”
“Oh,” she said. “Oh! I get it. You don’t want me to tell Mom about Nisha.”
“You are so smart,” I told her. “You can tell your mother anything you want after Nisha’s birthday, okay? I don’t like secrets, but this isn’t our secret to tell, okay? It would be bad for Nisha.”
“I won’t say anything, Dad. I love Nisha, and I would feel so bad if something happened to her.”
*****
I was careful to make arrangements to drop Selina off Friday evening, rather than have Lily pick her up. Lily, of course, tried to “talk” to me, but I told her I was in a hurry. I actually was. I was taking Nisha to dinner. She had been out shopping with Sarah, and Sarah had told me on the down-low that she’d bought Nisha a new dress, and that Nisha was dying to show it off to me.
I was going to give her the occasion; I had reservations at Cocina Madrigal, and I thought she’d like it. I had only been there once, with Selina, but I was impressed.
I got home and heard the shower running in Nisha’s room. I showered, put on a pair of black slacks with a pink dress shirt, and waited for her. I was idly scrolling through memes on my phone, and I heard a noise. I looked up and Nisha was at the top of the stairs, just taking her first step down. God, she took my breath away.
She had on a dark plum-colored number that just made her a spectacular vision. Her dusky skin just glowed, and she had new shoes, as well: black heels, not too high, but they accentuated the line of her legs perfectly. The dress was short, showing off those legs, and she was long, slender elegance. She had her hair up, showing her graceful neck and as she came closer, I could see she had made her little baby hairs into the cutest little curls, carefully arranged on her forehead. God, she was gorgeous. She had begun to fill out a little, getting enough to eat putting some weight back on her. She was still very thin, but she was getting there.
I just watched her, and I could tell she wanted me to. She had that little peachy blush she got when she was feeling shy or embarrassed, and she came to stand in front of me. She was wearing makeup. She really didn’t need any; her skin was beautiful, but she had just accentuated it; she had on a pale-yellow eye shadow and lipstick that matched. Her nails were yellow, as were her toenails in the open-toed shoes.
Her face was something out of a magazine. She had high cheekbones, a little declivity below, a broad, high forehead and her little pointed chin gave her face an elfin quality.
“My God, Nisha, you are gorgeous!” I exclaimed.
Her blush deepened. “Thanks.” It was almost a whisper. “Sarah helped me. I wanted to look pretty.” She looked me over. “You look very nice, too, Rogers.”
“‘Pretty’ doesn’t begin to describe you,” I said. “You are a beautiful woman, Nisha. Never doubt it. You’re the star of this show. I’m just a supporting actor. Still a little skinny, though. Let’s go and do something about that.”
She giggled, I stood, offered her my arm and we walked out to the Lexus. I opened her door and she got gracefully in, flashing a mile of gorgeous brown leg as she did.
We had a wonderful dinner, and I didn’t want the night to end. I asked her if she would like to prowl around, and she was all for it. I took her to the Melrose District, we drove through Copper Star Coffee, got a cup and a pastry and we window shopped, going in if something interested us.
We were at one art shop, and Nisha was fascinated with this one painting. It was of a little black girl, standing in front of a store, looking in the window at the dresses inside. It did have a pathos to it, like the little girl was wistful, wishing she could have one of the dresses. Nisha dragged me back three times to look at it again. I was going to remember.
She also loved a gold necklace at a jewelry store with a ruby on it. “That’s my birthstone,” she told me. I was going to remember that, too.
The district had a large LBGTQ presence, and Nisha remarked on it. “Pride is a thing here, huh?” she said.
“Yeah, I like to support them when I can,” I said. “Umm… Nisha, you know Sarah is gay, right?”
She giggled. “Yeah, she told me. It doesn’t matter to me. What do you think?”
“It doesn’t matter to me, either,” I said. “I love her, and I’d love her no matter what. She’s my sister. She’s a human. She is who she is, and it’s none of my business who she loves. Well, as long as she loves you, me and Selina.”
She giggled. “I don’t think that’s a problem. She’s a very loving person. She’s very pretty, Rogers. Does she have a girlfriend?”
“I’m sure she does,” I said. “She always does, but she only introduces me to the ones she intends to be with a while.”
We strolled along, hand in hand, and I enjoyed being with her more than I could have ever imagined. We got a lot of looks. Well, Nisha got a lot of looks. We were in a kind of “beautiful people” area, but she was something special. Who would have guessed? I certainly didn’t when I saw that waif outside that Quick Mart. I hadn’t even looked twice at her, until I noticed the cops harassing her. That made me feel kind of bad about myself. I shook it off. I’d try to be more aware. It was impossible to feel bad around Nisha, anyway.
I took her fishing on Saturday. She had never fished before, but once she caught her first fish, she was hooked (pun intended). It was a largemouth bass, and she shrieked and laughed the whole time she was reeling it in.
“Can we eat it?” she asked, as I was showing her how to release it.
“Yes, we could if it was big enough,” I said. “There’s a length limit, and this one isn’t long enough. Are you hungry for fish?”
She smiled up at me, her little dimples making her as cute as a month-old kitten. “Always. I love fish. Can we have the potatoes and hush-puppies like we did the night when you… found me?”
“We can,” I promised. “We should fish for something besides bass, though, if we want to eat them.”
I set her up with a light spinning outfit, maneuvered the boat around brush and debris and she begin catching fat bluegill nearly every time she cast. I cheered her on, and we soon had two-dozen in the live-well. I told her we had enough, and we went back to bass fishing, catching 10 before she wanted to stop.
“Rogers, I’m boutta to have a heat stroke,” she declared. “I’m going to jump in.”
She pulled off her shorts and top, displaying all that bikini-clad beauty, grabbed her pool noodle and jumped, shrieking, into the water. She played like a sleek little otter while I fished, and climbed back aboard when we were ready to go.
When we got back, I filleted the bluegill while she watched. She wrinkled her cute little nose at the smell, but she offered to help. I gave her a knife, showed her how to remove the ribs from the fillet and she worked alongside me.
“I’m sorry, Rogers, but they smell disgusting,” she said.
I laughed. “I know. This is the no-fun part of fishing. Either you release them or do this.”
“Maybe we should just buy fish at the store, and release the ones we catch,” she suggested.
“Good plan,” I said. “Remember, this was your idea, though.”
“Yeah, well, it was a bad idea,” she said. “Don’t listen to me if I have any more ideas.”
She was adorable, and I kissed the top of her head. She shot me one of those flashing smiles, we cleaned up and took the fish to the house. She helped me cook, and we were chilling on the sofa, me scrolling through my phone and her watching some sitcom on Netflix, her warm little body snuggled up against me.
“Rogers, I’ll never forget that first night,” she told me. “This just reminds me of it, and I just want you to know how thankful I am for you. I pray every night and thank God for letting me find you.”
My eyes were watering. I squeezed her. “Hey, I’m thankful for you. You’ve brought a lot of happiness to me and my whole family.”
She looked up at me, her huge eyes glistening black pools. “I love you,” she whispered.
I pulled her close with both arms. “I love you, too, Nisha.”
She kissed me good night and went up to her room. She stopped and looked down at me over the railing. “What are we going to do tomorrow?”
“Well, I don’t have any plans,” I said. “Pick Selina up at five, though.”
“I have some stuff I want to talk to you about,” she said. “Can we just hang here?”
“You got it,” I said. “Anything I need to be worried about?”
“No, just me stuff,” she said. “Night, Rogers.”
*****
We both slept in and had brunch about noon. She cleaned up, and I was in my office when she came to find me. She had a glass of juice and a cup of coffee, for me. Selina had a chair in there at her computer, and Nisha pulled it up beside me, putting her cute little feet up on my legs and leaning back.
“Rogers, next Wednesday is my birthday,” she said.
“I know. Eighteen! Nisha all grown up!”
She giggled. “Well, you told me you’d give me a job when I turned 18. Are you still gonna?”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
She nodded. “Yes. Very sure. I want to earn money, Rogers, be able to buy my own stuff.”
That hurt my feelings a little. “I give you money, Nisha. Is it not enough? You know if you need something, I’ll get if for you.”
“No, no, that’s not it, at all,” she hurried to reassure me. “It’s just… It’s hard to explain.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said.
“I love you, Rogers. I told you that last night. Do you know why?”
“Because I take care of you? Because you’re grateful? Because I love you and I’m nice to you?
“No,” she said. “You do take care of me, I am grateful, I know you love me; you told me, and you are nice to me, but that’s not why.”
I waited while she gathered her thoughts. “It’s because you’re the kind of person who would help a stranger you met at a convenience store, take care of her, love her and be nice to her. Do you see the difference?”
“Yeah, I guess I do. I’m not all that, though, Nisha. I’m just as dumb and flawed as the next guy.”
“I know that,” she said. “I also know where I am right now. All this,” she waved her hand around vaguely, “this is yours. You let me use it, and I love you for that. The clothes I’m wearing, you gave them to me. I can’t live like this, Rogers. Not when I could make it different.”
“Selina does,” I said.
“Yes, but Selina’s your daughter,” she said. “I’m not your daughter, Rogers. Don’t get that mixed up. Selina is little, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be. You buy me things. I want to buy you things, give you birthday presents, Christmas presents, that I buy with my own money I earn. I want to buy myself things I can look at and feel proud about, knowing I bought it with my own money. I want to take you out to eat sometimes, instead of you always taking me. Do you understand? I need to be my own person.” There was a pleading for my understanding in her voice.
“Yes, I guess I do, Nisha. I’ll give you a job. It’ll be up to you to keep it, okay? I won’t interfere unless someone is treating you wrong.”
She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. “Thank you. I promise I won’t let you down.”
“I believe you.”
“When school starts in the fall, can I work after school and be part-time?” she asked.
“You can, but I don’t want you to,” I said. “School is hard enough without working. I don’t want your grades suffering because you’re working.”
“They won’t,” she promised. “If they do, I’ll quit working while school is going. Okay?”
“Deal,” I said. “You know, Selina will be spending the winter at her mom’s during the week,” I said. “It will just be you and me, except every other weekend.”
She cocked her head to one side in that little gesture she had. “Do you think we can stand each other?”
I laughed. “I know I can stand you. I worry about whether you can stand me.”
“I’ll kill you and eat you if I can’t,” she promised.
“My God! I’m in danger!”
*****
Her birthday rolled around, and Mom, Dad, Selina, Sarah and I went all out. I had Sarah take her out for lunch, then shopping, and we decorated the place. Balloons were everywhere, Mom baked a cake, Dad and I put up streamers and arranged a bag of confetti in the rafters. Selina was everywhere, nearly unable to contain her excitement and anticipation. We had a big pile of presents we arranged on the coffee table, everything was set, and we waited for them to come home.
Selina ran to the door at every sound, and after about a half hour, she squealed and came running back. “They’re here!” she squeaked. “She’s gonna love it, I just know.”
Sarah came in first, carrying a couple of bags, and then Nisha, carrying a shoebox. Selina leaped out of the entry closet, shrieking, “Happy Birthday!” causing Nisha to give a little shriek of her own and drop her shoebox. Tally picked it up and dragged her over to the center of the living room. Dad pulled the string on the confetti and the big bag dumped all over her.
Her eyes where shining, she was laughing and crying at the same time, and we all gathered around to give her hugs. Confetti was all in her hair, her beautiful face was glowing and she kissed us all. “Oh, my God! I can’t believe this. You went to so much trouble. Thank you, I’ll never forget this.”
“Gram baked a cake, and we have ice cream,” Selina gushed. “You get the first piece. The birthday person always gets the first piece.”
Selina dragged her off to the bar, and Mom and Sarah dished up the cake and ice cream. We all sat around eating cake, laughing and talking. Nisha kept picking confetti out of her hair.
“I’m never going to get this all out, you know,” she complained.
“Hey, you’ll be the birthday girl until you do,” Sarah said.
Selina hurried eating her cake and ice cream, and tried to rush the rest of us along. “Hurry up, guys, so Nisha can open her presents!”
“Hey, you’ll make us freeze our heads, eating ice cream so fast,” I said.
“I didn’t freeze my head,” she said. “I can’t wait!”
We hurried, couldn’t keep the exuberant one waiting. Nisha knelt at the coffee table and looked at Selina, cocking her head like she did. “WLily help me?” she asked Selina.
“Oh, can I? Yes, I do!”
They tore the wrapping off the first present, selected by Selina, of course. Nisha’s eyes shot to my face as she held up the painting she’d loved so much at the gallery. “Oh, my God,” she said. “I can’t believe you remembered and got me this!” She clutched it in her arms, and Selina jumped up and down.
“It’s from Dad and me,” she said. “We went and got it together. I helped him wrap it. Do you like it, Nisha? Dad said you would.”
Nisha carefully sat it down on the table and gathered Selina in for a hug and a kiss. “I love it,” she said. “Thank you, Selina.” She looked at me. “Can I hang it in my room?”
“It’s your room,” I said. “You can do anything you want in there.”
She jumped up and came to give me a hug. “Thank you, Rogers. I’ll always keep it and remember.”
She took it and put it carefully beside the stairs before returning to open her other presents. She got clothes, shoes, a laptop from Mom and Dad, some nice blue-tooth speakers from Sarah, perfume from Selina and finally she was down to a last small box. Selina tore the paper off and handed it to her, along with a card.
She read the card, and tears welled up in those amazing eyes. She looked around at all of us. We’d all signed it. “Read it,” Selina urged. “Out loud, I mean. Dad and Aunt Sarah wrote it for you. I helped.”
“I… I can’t,” Nisha whispered hoarsely. “I… I’ll start crying. You read it for me, Selina.”
The sweet little voice of Selina began, and I don’t think any of us had dry eyes.
“Nisha,
“We are so happy you’re part of our family. You’ve brought love and joy to us all, and we hope that you will want to be part of our family for the rest of your life. Family doesn’t always happen genetically, Nisha. You were sent to us from heaven, a gift of God. We didn’t expect you, you just burst into our lives like a sunrise. We didn’t rescue you, you rescued us. We love you, always.”
She burst into tears as Selina finished, gasping out words. “I love you guys so much. I know I don’t have anything to give you… to show you how much. I…”
Dad moved, tears running down his face. He held her as she sobbed. “You have so much to give, Nisha. You give us love, and that’s all we want. You are amazing, young lady. Don’t you ever forget it.”
Sarah handed her the tissue box, and she composed herself. “Open the box, Nisha,” Selina urged. “This is from me and Dad, too. Wait till you see!”
Nisha opened the box and gasped. “Really? You remembered? Her eyes were locked on my face. I stood, walked behind where she was kneeling and said, “Can I put it on you?” It was the necklace she’d loved so much.
She gathered her hair and I slipped it around her long graceful neck. She bowed her head and I fastened the clasp.
“It looks so beautiful on you,” Mom said.
She got up and ran to the mirror on Selina’s bedroom door so she could see, then ran back to hug Selina and me. “Thank you so much. I love it. I don’t think I’ll ever take it off. I’ve never had any jewelry before.”
“Oh, my God,” Sarah said. “Well, we’re going to fix that, sweetheart. I’ll take you to some of the places I know. It isn’t expensive, just gaudy junk, but you’ll love it, I promise.”
We played party games, and Dad and I had hung a pinata on the back patio. Nisha knew about those, as we suspected from her mother, and she and Selina got a kick out of beating it with one of my fighting sticks while blindfolded. The candy spilled out and they hurried around, picking it up.
Mom, Dad and Sarah went home, and Selina was worn out, soon falling asleep on the sofa. I carried her to her bed, and Nisha went with me. We tucked Selina in, kissed our little angel and went back to the sofa for a cuddle.
Nisha’s head was on my chest, and she looked up at me. “This was the best birthday ever, Rogers. Thank you. I love you.”
I petted that mass of curls, picking out a couple of strings of confetti. “You’re welcome. It made me happy to make you happy.”
She sighed and relaxed. “When can I start my job?” she said after a minute.
I laughed. “You aren’t about to let me forget that, are you?”
“Noo, I want that job. Do I have to like, apply, or something?”
“You’ll have to go through HR to get all your paperwork, but I promise you’ll be hired, okay?”
“What will I be doing?” she asked.
“What are you good at?” I asked. “Driving a truck?”
“What? No, I can’t do that,” she said. “I’m more like good at math and writing stuff.”
She was quiet for a minute. “Do you think I could drive a truck?”
I laughed. “I think you could do anything you set your mind to,” I said. “I was joking, but we are short a couple of drivers.”
“Don’t you need like a special license?”
“Well, if you’re going to drive one of the big trucks, yes,” I explained. “We have a lot of local deliveries, and those drivers pull a trailer with a truck just like ours. The weight has to be a certain amount before you need a commercial driver’s license.”
“Oh. I might like driving a truck then,” she said.
“You could also work in the office,” I said. “Answer phones, emails, do bookwork, things like that.”
“Would I be with you?” she asked.
“Not much. I’m not in the office that much. Sometimes I am, but I’m mostly out in the warehouses or out visiting clients. You don’t need to decide right away,” I said. “Look at our website. You have a computer now.”
“Oh, I almost forgot! I love computers.”
I fluffed up her hair. “You love everything,” I said.
She smiled up at me. “Check the job listings, pick the one you want, and tell Linda. That’s our HR person. I gotta tell you, though, if you suck at the job, she’ll fire you. I won’t interfere. I’ll get you a different job, but you gotta work, you know?”
She nodded against my chest. “I won’t suck,” she said. “I’ll work hard, do whatever I needa do.”
It took her a week to make up her mind, and I was surprised when she told me she wanted to drive a truck.
“Really? You’re sure?”
“Yes, positive,” she said. “I’m not really that comfortable around people, Rogers, besides our family, I mean. Like in an office.”
A thrill shot through me when she said “our family.”
“I get it,” I said. “You’ll have to be around the guys who load you and the customers where you deliver, though.”
“I can do that,” she said.
I hooked onto a trailer at work the next day and dragged it home for her to practice. Selina and I went with her, and she drove it up and down the dirt roads along the river while I coached her. Backing it was tricky for her to learn, but she quickly mastered it, and could back the trailer into our garage.
She started the following Monday, and Selina got her sitter back. We dropped her on the way to work, and Nisha was assigned a truck and a trailer. I put her with Brandon, one of my younger guys who’d been around a while, watched from a distance while he walked her through a load. It looked like they had three stops loaded, and he was explaining that the first load to drop would be at the back of the trailer. They seemed to be getting along great, and Brandon seemed to be in awe of this dusky goddess. As long as they were talking about work, he was fine, but he was kind of awkward. He was a good guy, though.
I saw them jump in the truck, Nisha behind the wheel, and they pulled out onto the street. I watched them, a little wistfully. She was growing up, had her first job, and I was just getting to know and love her. I felt cheated that I hadn’t been able to know her all her life. I shrugged and went to meet a big installer for lunch.
I was around the warehouse most of the day, and I saw them come back and load up again three times. She came into my office at five and told me she was done.
I got her a soda and we sat and talked. “How did you like it? Have a good first day?”
“I did, and I like it very much. I like Brandon.”
“I figured you would,” I said. “I’ll have him ride with you the rest of the week, then you’ll be on your own. Think you can handle it?”
She nodded. “Yes. Brandon said I need a better phone, or a GPS,” she said. “I wouldn’t be able to find paces without him using his phone.”
“I never thought of that,” I said. “I have you assigned an iPhone, tomorrow. You can use it like it’s your personal phone, but the company will pay for it. Go get Selina and I’ll meet you guys at home, okay? We’ll go out for dinner and celebrate your first day on the job.”
She looked confused. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, that’s your truck, now. I mean, it belongs to the company, but you get to drive it. Drop your trailer and drive it like you own it.”
She squealed and jumped up. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Wow. I like the truck,” she said. “I like trucks. I mean, I like the Lexus, too, maybe more, but trucks are so handy.”
“You can drive it anywhere you need to go,” I said. “We are going to kind of have to drive one of the trucks when it’s all three of us. Not enough seats in the Lexus.”
“Yeah, but it’s fun to drive!”
I laughed. “I know, right? Go get Selina.”
She kissed me and she was off.
By the time I got cleaned up, they were home. Nisha was showering, and Selina chattered at me, all about her day. Nisha appeared at the top of the stairs, wrapped in a towel and asked what she should wear.
“Just casual. Jeans and a top,” I said
I took them to Monroe’s Hot Chicken, and they both loved it. It was a little spicy for Selina, but not Nisha. We giggled at Selina drinking glass after glass of lemonade, and had a great time.
We soon fell into a routine, and the summer passed quickly. It was getting close to time for school to start, and we moved Selina back to her mom’s. Selina insisted that Nisha was going with us. I knew that was going to be awkward as fuck, but we didn’t have anything to hide. Selina reminded me that I’d said she could tell Lily whatever she wanted, once Nisha was 18, and she wanted to tell her mom that she had a “sister.”
It went as badly as I thought it would. We pulled up and got boxes of Selina’s stuff to carry in. Selina opened the door and called for her mom. “We’re here, Mom.”
“Be down in a sec,” Lily called down from upstairs. “You know where stuff goes.”
We carried the boxes into Selina’s room and went back for another load. How had the girl accumulated so much stuff over the summer? We started unpacking and putting stuff away, and Lily walked in.
She still looked as good as she always had. She was a beautiful woman, no doubt about that. A little blonde pixie, like Selina was going to be. She had those looks that were always going to be cute, even when she was 70.
Selina grabbed Nisha’s hand and led her over to Lily. “This is Nisha,” she said. “She’s helping us.”
“Hi,” Lily said. “Thanks for helping.”
“You’re welcome.” Nisha’s voice was that barely audible tone she took on when she was uncomfortable.
“How do you know Rogers and Selina?” she asked.
“Umm… Mom, she lives with us,” Selina blurted out.
“What? What do you mean, ‘she lives with you?”
“She lives with us,” I said. “How is that confusing?”
“She… How old are you?” she snapped at Nisha.
“She’s 18,” Selina said.
“You mean she’s like a nanny? She’s your housekeeper?”
“What the hell? When did you become a damn racist, Lily?” I shot off. “Because she’s black, she’s like some kind of menial?”
“No… I didn’t mean…” she was on the defensive, now. “I don’t understand why she lives with you.”
“She’s part of our family,” Selina said. “We all love her, Gram and Grandpa, Aunt Sarah, everyone. She’s my big sister!”
Lily glared at me, her eyes full of suspicion. “What does this mean, Rogers? Are you sleeping with this…”
Nisha was looking very pale and embarrassed. I needed to end this. “You should stop right there,” I told Lily. “How dare you? I’m not the one who sleeps… No, we’re not going there. I don’t owe you an explanation, Lily. Not for anything. You gave up the right to question anything I do. Nisha came over here because Selina wanted to introduce her to her mother, and then you act like…”
I kneeled and hugged Selina, who was also looking horrified. “I’m so sorry, baby,” I said. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Everything is fine. I just need to talk to your mother for a second. Show Nisha around your room.
I walked into the kitchen and Lily followed me. “She shouldn’t be…”
I interrupted her. “Who are you to be telling anyone what they should or shouldn’t do? Don’t act like you have some moral standing to criticize anyone.”
“She’s 18, and you’re…”
“I’m nothing,” I hissed. “She has the bedroom upstairs in the back. She works for me. She was living on the streets and we helped her. Selina loves her like a sister. You better not say one bad thing about her to Selina, or give Selina a hard time, either. I let you live in this house, which I don’t have to do, because of Selina, because you’re her mother, and you’ve been a good one. You’re about to fuck that up if you say one more negative thing about Nisha. You feel me?”
She looked nervous. “She loves you,” she said. “It’s written all over her.”
“Yes, she does,” I said. “I love her, too, but I’m like a father figure she never had. Don’t start making this out to be some nasty shit you’re imagining in your mind. Just because you have no morals… No. Stop, Lily. Remember what I said? One negative thing to Selina, and you’ll regret it.”
I left her standing there and went to get Nisha. We hugged and kissed Selina, telling her we’d pick her up in two weeks for our weekend with her, and I took Nisha’s hand and led her out. When we got in the truck, I just sat there for a minute, letting the adrenaline ebb. “Fuck!” I pounded the steering wheel with my fist, making Nisha jump.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” I said. “I knew this was a bad idea.”
I felt her cool little hand on my forearm, her long slender fingers caressing me. “It’s okay, Rogers,” she said. “Yeah, that wasn’t fun, but what did you expect? She’s still in love with you. Anyone can see it.”
I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing. “What?” she asked.
“She just told me the same thing about you.” I chuckled.
Nisha never made a sound. She just sat there doing that blushing thing. “Let’s go get a piece of pie,” I said. “You like pie?”
“Oh, yes, I do. Apple, with vanilla ice cream.”
We got our pie and talked. “How long will it be before your divorce is final?” she asked.
“Ten more days,” I told her.
“Do you think you’ll ever get back together with her?”
I shook my head. “No, Nisha. That ship has sailed. That would be ideal for Selina, of course, and that’s the only reason I ever considered it. You see me now, almost a year after all this went down. I don’t think about it much now, but for those first few days, weeks, months, it filled my head every time I wasn’t occupied doing something else. She ripped my heart out. It was all so casual, like it didn’t mean anything to her. She just cheated, blatantly, in front of friends of ours we knew for years growing up, then acted like it was no big deal.”
“I think cheating is a big deal,” she said. “I can imagine how you felt. I don’t understand how anyone could do that.”
“Neither do I.”
Nisha was pensive for a minute, just eating her pie. “You know, I have kind of an idea of myself, like inside. I think about what kind of a person I am, and I have this image of who I am and who I want to be. Cheating would destroy me, Rogers. It would be so against everything I am, everything I want to be.”
I put my arm around her and squeezed her. “You are amazing, Nisha. How did you get to be so smart? And you’re only 18.”
“I got a big-ass head,” she said. “Room for lots of brains in there.”
I laughed. “Well, you don’t have a ‘big-ass head,’ but you obviously have a big brain. We gotta get you enrolled in school this week, so we can fill up that big brain.”
Sarah did some of her magic with the state, and we got Nisha’s school records, birth certificate and all her papers. She had to get some vaccinations, but she was up and off to school on the Thursday it started.
That district didn’t have school on Mondays, and she worked Monday and delivered one load after school every day. She was ecstatic and so proud when she got her first paycheck.
“Oh, my God! It’s so much,” she danced around my office. “How much do I make an hour?”
“You make $32 an hour, just like all the other new drivers,” I said. “I think they top out around $40.”
“It’s so much! I can’t believe it,” she pumped her fist. “How do I cash it?”
“Do you want to have a bank account?” I asked.
“I do. Can I get like a debit card?”
“You can,” I said. “If you get up early in the morning, we can get to the bank before noon and get you set up.”
She was up by eight, which was unusual for her on a Saturday, and I took her to the bank I used. She showed them her driver’s license and social security card, they took her check, she got $200 in cash and deposited the rest. They thought it would take 3-5 days for her to get her debit card, and she was so excited.
“I can’t believe I have a bank account!” she exclaimed.
“Well, do you think you’ll be the kind of girl who spends all her money””
“Noo, Imma save it so I can go to college,” she said.
We were on our way home, and I pulled into Mary Coyle, we got ice cream, and talked.
“About that, Nisha…”
“What?” she asked.
“Paying for college,” I said.
“Oh, no. Don’t you even start,” she commanded. “Yes, I know what you’re going to say, and I’m grateful you feel that way, but hell no.”
I laughed. “You read my mind. That’s not all I have to say, though. You don’t have any parents, Nisha. You’re an 18-year-old minority woman with no parents, and your income isn’t that high. I’m sure there are scholarships, grants, loans you could get.”
“I don’t want any loans,” she insisted. “I’ll talk to the school counselor about the grants and scholarships, though.”
“Smart girl,” I said. “I pay huge taxes, and you should take advantage of every opportunity to get some of it back.”
“Oh, yeah. I will.”
“How are you liking school?”
“Well, it’s kinda school,” she said. “I’m not having a hard time with any of my classes, though, and people are nice to me. I have a new friend.”
“I figured you’d have dozens,” I said. “I mean, you’re gorgeous, funny, smart. Any boys sniffing around I need to worry about?”
She blushed. “No. Well, they ask me out, but Ion wLily go.”
“Are you going to hang out with your new friend?” I asked.
“Yes, I want to invite her over so she can meet you and Selina next Saturday. Would that be okay?”
“Of course,” I said. “I’d love to meet her. What’s her name?”
“It’s Elica,” she said. “She’s really cute. You’ll love her.”
“If you do, I know I will,” I said.
“Can we take out the jet skis?”
“Absolutely. I’ll make sure they’re ready to go,” I assured her.
*****
Elica turned out to be a charmer. She was a tall brunette, just gorgeous, she was from London, and she had this wonderful, precise, English accent. She was as smart and funny as Nisha, but it was a very dry wit. She would say things that had us in stitches, and Selina loved her, too.
I sat on the dock and watched them fly up and down the river, Selina clinging to one or the other of them, and just chilled. Sarah came over to hang with us, and she was just as charmed by Elica as we were. She, Nisha and Elica made surreptitious plans to do girl shit after they were done on the water, and I watched them, smiling at their antics. Sarah really wasn’t much older than they were, at 27, and I remembered well her being just like them. Hell, she still was.
*****
I finally got the final divorce papers in the mail. It was a bit sad, traumatic and a relief, all at the same time. You don’t watch 10 years of your life go up in smoke without feeling some way about it. I was a little depressed for a few hours, and I think Nisha sensed it. She came and sat beside me, curling her legs up in that impossible way she had, as if she had no bones.
“Is that it?” she asked, looking at the papers.
“It is,” I told her.
“Are you okay? Are you sad?”
“A little. I didn’t ever expect to be here. I imagined in my mind that Lily and I would grow old together, watch Selina grow up, look forward to grandkids someday. Then it all went to hell in a day.”
She wrapped her arms around me. “I’m so sorry, Rogers. I wish there was something I could do.”
I played with one of her curls, twisting it around my finger. “You’re doing something now,” I said. “You make me feel good. I’ve realized that relationships aren’t about who you’ve known the longest. They’re about who walked into your life, said “I’m here for you,” then proved it.”
“That’s you, for me,” she said.
“That’s you, for me,” I echoed. “You’re here for me, right now.”
She snuggled a little closer. “I plan always to be here for you.”
“Same, sweetheart,” I said.
*****
She sailed right through the school year. It was an experience watching her. Our weekends with Selina were a little oasis every two weeks, and she spent Christmas week with us. Lily got her for Thanksgiving, and there was an empty place in our hearts as we sat around the table at Mom and Dad’s.
Christmas was wonderful, though, and we hosted the dinner. Elica came over in the afternoon, and we opened our presents.
Nisha had perfect grades, and she proudly showed everyone her grade report on her phone. “See, I told you I could work and keep my grades up.”
“You did,” I admitted. “I should never have doubted you. You are Supergirl.”
She gave me an impish grin. “I am, and don’t you forget it, buster.”
She graduated the last day of May, and we were all in attendance as she marched proudly across the stage. She turned to look at us and gave us a thumbs up. We all screamed, or whooped, depending on our sex, and she bounced back to her chair. After some long boring speeches, it was over and they all threw their caps in the air. Nisha was quick to rescue hers, though, and she made her way through congratulatory people. I saw the counselor stop her and they talked for a minute. Nisha made a little dance step, pumped her fist and gave the counselor a high five. I wondered what that was about.
She finally made her way back to us, and we all hugged her and congratulated her. She was full of excitement, and I could tell there was something she wanted to say.
“I have some news,” she said “I just want you all to know, I could never have done it without you. Thank you for being there for me. The counselor just told me something. Guess what? I have a full-ride scholarship to Arizona State.”
That had a fresh round of congratulations and hugs all around. “I went to Arizona State, you know,” Sarah told her. “It’s a good school, and you can make it whatever you want it to be.”
“Oh, I know what I want it to be,” she said.
“What?” Selina asked.
“I want to get a degree in construction engineering,” she explained. “I think that would be good for our business, don’t you, Rogers?”
I loved that she considered it “our” business. “You’re too smart for me, kiddo,” I said. “Poor old Rogers has a business degree. I think you’ll be good for any business.”
“Oh, I’m going to work for you,” she said.
I noticed Mom and Sarah looking at her oddly, but I didn’t pay any attention at the time.
“Hey, I’m taking everyone out to the Arrowhead Grill to celebrate,” Dad said.
“Is it good?” Nisha asked.
“Best steaks in town,” Dad assured her.
“It’s really good,” Selina said. “Grandpa has taken me there a few times. Let’s go.”
Selina went with Sarah, since she was spending the night with her, and Nisha and I were in the Lexus. We walked out where we were parked, and I chirped the locks. “WLily drive?” I asked Nisha.
“Oh, yeah,” she said. “Pop the trunk. I wLily yeet my stuff in the back.” She took off her graduation robes, hat and the shoes she’d been wearing, and tossed them back there, getting out another pair to wear to the restaurant.
I raised one eyebrow. “Okay, those weren’t exactly my best purchase,” she said with a giggle. “Yes, I know, you told me. They’re hella cute, though.”
I had to admit they were, but I couldn’t imagine walking in them. “Hey, if you want to tower over everyone like a tree, who am I to object,” I said. “They make your legs look amazing, though.”
She blushed, as she always did when anyone complimented her. “Thanks,” her voice was almost a whisper.
I handed her the keys and held her door.
The steaks were every bit as good as Dad had promised, and we had a regular party up in there.
Elica was going to Arizona State, as well, it turned out, and they carpooled. Nisha wanted no part of living on campus. “Noo,” she objected when I mentioned it. “How would that work? I’m going to work in the afternoons. You know that, Rogers.”
She did, too. She got out of school about one, and she was always loading up by two. I rode along with her a couple of times on deliveries, and I was both amazed and not surprised. When we pulled in, work stopped at that location. The workers fell all over themselves helping her unload, and even the head honchos would come around and chat her up. She was a star, and I could see why.
That skinny little waif was gone. She’d put on at least 20 needed pounds, and she worked out with me, three days a week. She was still slender, slim hipped, broad shouldered, but she was becoming muscular, too.
Her clothes fit tightly, and what was under them was spectacular. Her boobs had grown, becoming full, if not large, mounds of femininity under whatever she was wearing. We had company polo shirts for all the workers, and they looked better on her than anyone else.
When the first college semester ended, she had a perfect 4.0. I was impressed. I knew how smart she was, of course, but she had an unbelievable work ethic, too. She threw herself into every assignment, and Elica told me all her professors loved her.
One thing I noticed was she never went on any dates, and my curiosity got the better of me. “Any of the college guys looking like potential boyfriends?” I asked her one night.
She blushed. “Noo,” she said. “I guess I should tell you, Rogers, I’m gay.”
She laughed herself into hysterics at the look on my face when she said that. “Oh, my God. That was everything I hoped for,” she gasped. “I was just kidding. I’m not gay, Rogers. I mean, if everything was just right, I might try a girlfriend. I do think women are pretty.”
“Me too,” I said, and that set her off again.
“I don’t have time for a boyfriend, anyway. Between school and work, I’m busy. I get asked out a lot, but I’m not interested. I know I’m pretty, but I’m more than that, and the guys who ask me out are only interested in one thing.” She waggled her eyebrows up and down at me.
I laughed. “Yeah, I know. Hey, they’re wired that way. They’ll grow up.”
“Well, they’ll do it without me,” she said. “I don’t want to date immature jerks. It would be a waste of my time. When I’m not in class, I want to be working, or here with you and Selina. Isn’t it our weekend?”
“It is,” I said. “Anything special you want to do?”
“Nah, it doesn’t matter,” she said. “As long as we do it together, I’m good. I miss her, Rogers.”
“I know,” I said with a sigh. “Me too.”
She surprised me one evening, just after the end of her second semester. We were sitting on the dock in the camp chairs, her feet on my legs as she always liked them.
“Rogers, I have something to tell you.”
“Oh, my God. You’re pregnant. Who’s the father?”
She laughed. “No, dummy. I’m on the pill. You took me, so you outta know.”
“Yeah, there is that.”
“Did you know Sarah and Elica are dating?” she asked.
I had no idea. “Really? I didn’t know Elica rolled like that. Didn’t she have a boyfriend like last week?”
She laughed. “If a year ago is last week, then yeah. She’s bi, Rogers.”
“Oh. Are they serious?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I mean, they hang out together all the time, and I know they really like each other. They don’t tell me if they’re lovers. It’s none of my business,” she said.
“No, mine either. I love both of them, and I hope they make each other happy.”
She looked at me and did that little head cocking thing. “How come you don’t have a girlfriend, Rogers?”
I nearly choked on my beer. “Well, after I found out about Lily, I had kind of a crispy heart there for a while,” I said. “I really had no interest in having a girlfriend.”
Her cool little hand stroked my arm. “I know. I’m sorry, Rogers. Aren’t you pretty much over that?”
“I guess,” I said. “As much as you ever get over something like that. I haven’t really met anyone I wanted to be my girlfriend. I want to spend as much time as possible with Selina. Besides, I’ve got you,” I teased her.
She blushed furiously. Her eyes fell, and she said, so softly I almost didn’t catch it. “Yeah, you do.”
I felt her little hand slip into mine, and we sat there in a content silence for a couple of minutes. She chattered at me constantly, but we could also have comfortable silences. I was thinking.
“Nisha, do you ever think about your father?” I asked.
She sighed. “Not often,” she said. “He was never part of my life and although I’ve sometimes wondered what kind of person could abandon his pregnant girlfriend, it rarely crosses my mind.”
“I understand,” I said.
“I wish you could have known Mom,” she said after a minute. “She was a really great mother, Rogers. We didn’t have a lot, but she loved me. Her life was hard, but she did her best to make sure mine wasn’t.”
I put my arm over her shoulders and fluffed her hair. “I know you must have loved her. If you could find your father, would you want to?”
“No,” she didn’t hesitate. “He never cared about me, and I don’t care about him. He was an asshole.”
“He was a stupid asshole,” I said. “He missed out on the chance to have you in his life.”
She looked at me with misty eyes, a look in them I had been noticing lately, something mysterious, pulled me up and we hugged for a minute. We walked back to the house, hand in hand, and she got her computer, showing me the classes she’d be taking the next semester.
The next day was Saturday, Mom and Sarah showed up about 10 and Nisha went off somewhere with them. I went grocery shopping, rode the stationary bike, showered and fell asleep on the sofa watching baseball.
I woke to some confusion, and noticed they were home. They conspired together in the kitchen for a while, then Mom and Sarah spent a long time hugging her before they left. Sarah gave her a thumbs up as she walked out.
Nisha came and sat beside me. I got up and made popcorn after a while, and we watched several episodes of “Stranger Things” on Netflix. “Imma get ready for bed,” she announced.
“Yeah, me too. It’s been a lazy day, but I’m still ready,” I said.
I brushed my teeth, got undressed and lay on my back, enjoying the air from the ceiling fan blowing over me. I closed my eyes for a minute, and then I heard a noise from my bedroom door. It opened, and Nisha stood there.
God, she just stood there, one shoulder against the door jamb, hip shot, the hand away from the door on her hip, her elbow cocked. That was a vision enough to wake the dead, as she was backlit by the light we always left on in the kitchen, but it was what she was wearing that took my breath away.
I knew she was gorgeous, of course, you would have to be blind not to know that, but I swear to God, until that moment, I never really saw her. It was as if scales had fallen from my eyes and revealed this little sorceress, this dusky goddess of the moonlight.
She had on those “uncomfortable” heels, and her legs were encased in red thigh-high stockings, garters fastening to a tiny pair of red lace panties I could see beneath the red semi-transparent cover-up she was wearing. Under that, I could see a red lace corset, pushing her breasts up into some cleavage that was both surprising and very exciting. She stood there for a moment, just letting me look.
“May I come in?” Her low husky little voice had a note in it I’d never heard before. I seemed to be paralyzed, unable to speak.
Finally, I was able to form a coherent word. “Jesus, Nisha. What…”
“I’m gonna take that as a yes,” she said.
She walked across the room to stand beside my bed. “Do you like me?” she asked, running her hands sensuously down over her breasts, down her sides and over the swell of her hips.
A croak was all I was able to manage in response. She giggled. “Kristen and Sarah thought you would.”
“Mom…” I managed.
“They helped me pick it out,” she said. “You have a very perceptive mother and sister, Rogers.”
“I…” I sounded like an idiot, but she had me floundering.
“They’ve known I’m in love with you for a while,” she said. “They weren’t sure how you felt about me until recently. Do you remember when you told me that Lily said I was in love with you?”
I was incapable of rational thought, unable to tear my eyes away from this vision, this gorgeous little dark elf, this queen of the night. “Yes, we thought it was funny,” I said.
“YOU thought it was funny,” she said. “I didn’t. I knew she was right.”
“How long… I mean, Jesus, Nisha.”
“For a while,” she said. “Look at me, Rogers.”
She raised her arms, tangling her fingers in that mop of curls, accentuating her breasts, and slowly did a little turn, her back to me and looking back over her shoulder.
My God, that ass. Her panties didn’t have much lace back there, and were basically see through, anyway. Her butt was tight, small, but very rounded and muscular, the workouts we’d been doing were paying dividends. It was maddening and I wanted to sink my fingers into it.
She continued her turn until she was facing me again, her arms moving down until her hands cupped her breasts. “Do you think I’m pretty, sexy?” she asked.
“Damn, Nisha, you don’t need me to tell you that,” I said.
“Yes, I do,” she said. “Your opinion is the only one that matters to me. I wLily hear you say it, right now, tomorrow, the rest of our lives.”
“You are absolutely the most beautiful, sexiest and amazing woman I’ve ever met or seen,” I confessed. “Nisha, I’m… I’m kinda like a father figure to you.”
“Yes, but you’re not my father,” she told me. “I told you once not to get that mixed up, Rogers.”
“I remember,” I said.
“Kirsten and Sarah told me you’re in love with me,” she said. “Are you?”
“God, baby, I love you so much,” I said. I was feeling… I don’t know what. My heart was full of every emotion I could imagine.
“Scoot over,” she said.
I scooted and she sat down beside me. “I’m in love with you, Rogers. I always have been. At first, I didn’t realize what it was. It was just like this euphoric feeling I would have whenever you touched me, like my whole body was happy. When you play with my hair, put your arm around me, it’s like a drug is injected into me. I thought I was too young, at first, and you were still married. I wasn’t sure you weren’t going to get back together with Lily for a while. Now I am. How long have we been together?”
“Umm… two years?”
“Have you been happy?”
“Extremely happy. I love having you, Nisha. I’ve been happy before. When I first got married, when things were good and Selina was born, watching her grow. It’s been like that with you. I’m scared, Nisha. I don’t want to lose you, risk anything about us.”
“Every change is a risk,” she said. “You took a risk when you found me and brought me home with you. You took a risk when you hired me at work. Nothing worth having is without a risk.”
I marveled at the maturity of this woman/girl. “Yes, I guess it is.”
She stood up and pulled the covers off me, sitting back down and removing her shoes before crawling over to lie on top of me. She took my face between her little hands and moved her face down until our noses were touching and I was drowning in those obsidian pools. “I love you, Rogers,” she whispered. “Are you going to love me back?”
She kissed me. We had kissed hundreds of times, but this was something different. Her lips, full, soft, plush, were alive, moving in a dance of their own, and I felt her squirmy little pointed tongue move out to play with mine. Her hands went behind my head and time stopped. The kiss went on forever, and I was floating in a sea of bliss.
My arms went around her and I held her to me. As my hands caressed her, I realized that the skinny little waif was gone. This was a substantial woman. She was still slender, and I supposed she always would be, but she was packed with muscles that flexed beneath her skin. I felt her legs move, up on the outside of mine, and she sat up and undid the single button on the wrap, tossing it to the floor beside the bed.
“Do you wLily take this off, or you want me to?” she asked.
“Me. Definitely me,” I said. She flashed me a smile and arched her back, taking my breath away as her breasts pushed forward. “How does it work?” I asked.
“String, tied in the back,” she said.
I reached around behind her and felt the bow. It was a set of strings, holding the front lacy part together, joining into one, and I tugged at it. The front sagged, giving me a hint of the milk chocolate of her areola. I had to see more. I moved my hands to the front, and slowly pulled the wispy garment away.
There they were: the most beautiful breasts I had ever imagined. Creamy brown, set high and proud, areola a shade darker, little fat nipples erect and a shade darker, still. God they were beautiful and I had to feel them. I raised my hands and she took them in hers, pressing them against that firm suppleness. I squeezed, sinking my fingers in, then finding her little nipples with my fingertips. She gasped as I squeezed them and made a little mewing sound.
“God, Nisha. You are so beautiful, baby. I knew, but… not like this.”
She smiled and blushed again, falling forward to crush her breasts against my chest and kissing me. It was another of those scorcher kisses, and this time, I let my hands wander over the silky skin of her back, stroking down over it to the little declivity above her butt, stroking there as she shivered, further down under her panties and onto that ass. God it was glorious, her cheeks filling my hands, steel under satin. She flexed it and giggled.
“Somebody like my butt,” she said.
“Everyone likes your butt. I see people watching you all the time,” I said.
She giggled again. “Yeah, I feel their eyes. There’s only one set of eyes I’m interested in.”
“Are you sure about this, Nisha?” I asked. A thought struck me. “God, what will Selina think?”
“She loves the idea,” she said. “We’ve been talking about it for a while. She knows tonight’s the night.”
“What?” I was stunned.
“Well, I didn’t go into any details.” She made a naughty little giggle. “She knows I’m in love with you, and I have her seal of approval.”
“My own daughter, conspiring against me,” I lamented. “She never breathed a word, the little minx.”
“It’s for your own good,” she said. “I’m going to be so good for you, Rogers.”
“You always have been,” I told her.
“You talk too much,” she informed me. “Shut up and make love to me.”
I went with that. Well, at first, it was more like she made love to me. The kisses she gave me had me unable to think, just acting on instinct. She wanted to explore, and kissed her way down to my nipples. I had really not ever thought of men’s nipples as being erogenous zones, but she plainly disagreed, and she made a believer out of me, playing with mine, her little pointy tongue working on me, making me crave more.
She moved downward, across my belly to the waistband of my underwear. She giggled a little at the Rick and Morty boxer briefs, before tugging at them. “Help me,” she said.
I lifted my hips and she slid them down, exposing me and gasping when my cock sprang free. I was as erect and hard as I could ever remember being. The sight, sounds, smell, feel of this queen driving my excitement. Most of all, it was thought of her. I knew her so well, every intimate detail of her personality. I knew how cute she was, as a person, how sweet she was, how warm and caring, and that, combined with her physical beauty made her so attractive to me. I was immersed in the experience that was Nisha.
She discarded my underwear and lay across me as she played with me. She seemed to want to absorb every detail, taking my cock in her hot little hands, moving it from side to side, seeming to weigh it in her hand, exploring my balls, delicate fingers searching out every tactile sensation, memorizing every detail. She looked up at me, her eyes full of mischief and lust. “Imma taste him,” she said. “Damn, you have a big dick, Rogers!”
I had to smile. I was no porn star, but she seemed very impressed. Those luscious lips planted a kiss on the head, and her tongue swiped me, like she was licking an ice cream cone. “Mmm,” she made a little moaning sound. Plush lips enveloped me, and she slid down, taking about a third of my cock into volcanic heat, moist liquid loving, her tongue continuing to work its magic spell.
She spun around so that she could look up at me, those dark pools fixed on my face as she bobbed, all those curls spreading over me. She pulled her hair back with one hand, gathering it over one shoulder as a few curls escaped to hang over her face, an erotic picture I would never forget.
God, it was an image that burned its way into my mind. This girl, woman, who filled my heart and home with joy, love, in love with me and obviously loving the pleasure she was giving me. The look of contentment on her face as she saw my reactions to her loving gift was obviously just what she desired.
It had been a long time since I had felt like that with a woman. I corrected my thoughts. I had NEVER felt this way about a woman. I doubted it was possible to feel as I did about her without the experiences we’d had together. This was something new. The sensations rose and I groaned.
“Nisha, baby… I’m going to come…”
Her motions took on an urgency, one hand holding my cock in the ideal position for her as she sucked, the other cupping my balls, gently teasing, tickling, and the moment became one of overwhelming ecstasy as I exploded. She gagged at the first pulse, but she didn’t let that deter her, her mouth continuing to slide, her wicked tongue teasing, making extremely erotic sounds as she took all I had to offer. The sensation was agonizing ecstasy, soon becoming an over sensitizing, and I pulled her up.
Her eyes were shining and she had a look of profound satisfaction as she slid up to kiss me. “Was that good?” she whispered.
“Oh, my God, Nisha. Thank you, baby. That was nothing like I’ve ever experienced before. It was all you, everything is about you, how much I love you, how much you mean to me.”
She lay with her head on my chest and I held her to me, nuzzling my face into her mop. I squeezed her tightly, rolling so that I was on top. She giggled, making her breasts do amazing things, and I had to love her, love this woman who owned my heart, taste every inch of her spectacular body.
I kissed her lips, never would I get enough of those lips. All over her gorgeous face, her eyes, her tiny little ears, slightly pointed at the top like some erotic elf, pushing my tongue into the little hollow behind her earlobes, making her shiver. The smooth column of her neck was very sensitive and she moved and signed beneath me. The little hollow of her collarbone was ticklish, and I kissed my way down to her breasts.
I could hardly believe their perfection: silky skin, firm softness, plush, maddeningly exciting, standing full and proud, so firm they retained their shape, even with her lying on her back, a little up-turned, her areolae forming little separate peaks on the peaks, her cute little nipples an extension capping the miniature peaks.
She was making little purring, moaning sounds as I loved on those breasts. Her nipples and areolae were very sensitive, and she cried out my name when I enveloped them, hands tangling in my hair as she writhed beneath me, plainly having her first orgasm. “God, oh my God, Rogers! I… I’m running away…”
She throbbed and shook, pressing her mons into me, bringing my cock throbbing back to life, and she rubbed herself against it, finally falling back into slow movements.
She tugged at my hair, pulling me up. “Stop… I… wait, Rogers. Let me stop a minute… rest…”
I let her pull me up and she kissed me, almost desperately, and she was sobbing, her emotions plainly running wild.
“It’s okay, baby.” I held her close, feeling her shaking against me.
“No, I’m… I’m so in love with you,” she gasped out the words. “I… you made me…” her sobs choked off her words.
“Shh, I know,” I said. “It’s okay, Nisha, I promise.
It seemed like she was having a little panic attack. “You don’t know…” she gasped. “I’ve never felt anything like that. I love you so much. Please… I’m so afraid. Please don’t hurt me, Rogers. Don’t ever leave me, make me go away…”
“That is never going to happen. I promise, never,” I assured her. “You belong to me. You’re mine. I promise that I’ll always be yours, always.”
She was breaking my heart. I could only imagine the deep-seated trauma she had experienced in her short life, and I thought she was in a good place, handling it all very well, her life together, and then, it all came bubbling up in her emotional state and in the middle of what should have been the most exciting experience of her life, those insecurities came tumbling out. I would have to make sure she felt only love.
“Nisha, baby, I can’t tell you what this means to me, you opening up to me like this, giving yourself to me. It would be impossible for me to tell you how much I love you. I can only show you. Can I show you?”
She calmed down, her sobbing slowing and trailing away, her breath catching every now and then, the pounding of her heart I could feel against me slowing. “I love you, always,” I whispered.
“I love you,” she whispered back. Suddenly her lips were seeking mine, all the fear turning to passion. “Yes, show me, Rogers.”
Her nipples were still erect, rubbing against my chest, and I made gentle love to them, soothing her, building her passions again. As I left them, my lips nibbling over the flat plane of her belly, my tongue dipping into the elongated oval of her navel, I could feel her building a tension, a little trembling. I reached the little red lace panties and nibbled my way across the top, moving them a little lower, bit by bit.
I could hardly believe how gorgeous she was, how stunningly sexy she looked as they moved lower and lower, as if I was uncovering some piece of erotic artwork. The thought that there were more treasures to uncover had me in a fever of anticipation. I found only smooth silkiness, all the way until her panties slipped down, uncovering the V where her little pussy began.
She giggled. “I shaved for you. Do you like it?”
“Let me see.” I tugged at those panties and she raised up a bit so I could slide them down smooth muscular thighs, and she was bare and beautiful before my eyes. My breath caught and I needed to worship this goddess.
I moved to her cute little feet, kissing each precious toe, up over the high arch of her foot, finding a sensitive place in the little hollow behind her slender ankle, moving up over her calves, finding another in the bend of her knee, causing her to jolt with the sensation.
Her slow writhe began again when I reached the inside of her thighs, kissing and nibbling my way over smooth brown skin up to the juncture of her thighs, the skin darkening until I reached what I knew to be the ultimate in feminine perfection.
She was perfect, as I knew she would be, perfectly symmetrical lips forming a line up to the little nub of her clitoris, dusky, with a hint of pink. I used my tongue to part those lips, and she was slick and moist inside, the dusky hue fading into pink, within. She cried out when my tongue touched her, and her trembling became pronounced. I spread the slickness with my tongue, easing up to probe her little pleasure nub and her whole body spasmed.
“Rogers… oh my God!” Her cry rose, and I enveloped that little nub with my lips, caressing her with my finger and all that tension built, I could feel her muscles flexing, feel her bridging up toward me and she came, a hoarse little squeal escaping as her entire body throbbed.
I used everything I had learned about pleasing a woman, everything I had ever heard, read, seen, to keep this woman who owned my heart at the peak, take her there again and again, push her over the precipice and follow her down.
She came, again and again, that same little squeal, the building and breaking of the tension, and I felt her tiring, her motions becoming an effort of escape. “Rogers! Oh, my God, Rogers! I needa… I can’t… please…”
“One more,” I whispered.
“No… I can’t… stop… oh my God! Coming!” She went off again, becoming frantic to escape, tugging painfully at my hair.
Giving that little pussy one last kiss, I let her pull me up until she was gasping, her breath hot on my face, her lips seeking mine. We kissed until she needed to pant, then her little fists were beating on my back.
“You are so mean!” she accused. “God, I nearly died, Rogers!”
I chuckled and kissed away her words. “But what a way to go,” I said.
She giggled. “I don’t wLily ‘go!’ I’m just getting started.”
She gasped as she felt me move, the head of my cock pressing into her heat and wetness. “Oh, God, I’m not sure…”
I silenced her with a kiss, and slipped between her slippery, sticky, gooey lips. She gasped. “Rogers, oh my God!” Her voice rose as I pressed into her. “Something… something… I’m stuck.”
I kissed her and pinched her nipples, causing her to gasp at the sensation, and in one quick motion, my head slipped inside.
She froze, eyes wide, looking up at me accusingly. “Owwee!” she exclaimed. “What’s wrong with you? That hurt!”
I held her tightly, not moving, just loving her, kissing her. “I’m sorry, Nisha. It was going to hurt. I won’t do that again, but it had to happen, baby. You know…”
“Yes.” She took my face between her hands. “I know, but damn.” I saw the realization dawn in her obsidian eyes. “I’m a woman.”
“Yes, baby, you are. My woman.”
I moved a little, and she winced. “Slow,” she cautioned.
“Glacial,” I promised.
It was slow, a gradual joining, a loving taking of territory, a loving giving, everything an immersion into something unimaginable to both of us, impossible without the other. We made slow sweet love, her passion building in an ascending staircase of small orgasms, growing in intensity until we were in full sync, her moving under me, against me, point and counterpoint in the dance of a lifetime.
This girl, this woman, this place, forever etched into my memory, holding a place in my heart no one else would ever touch. She was the ultimate experience, and I never wanted to be anywhere else, inside her, our very souls joined, and when we came, it was together, all the love I had for her, all the tenderness, the desire to have her, protect her, keep her for the rest of time, poured out.
We rested, my weight over her and in her, and she cried. They were tears of happiness. “This is how much I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you,” she said. “I have nothing left to give you.”
“I don’t want anything else,” I said.
“Umm… Rogers, you’re crushing me,” she complained, then giggled. “I needa breathe.”
I laughed and grabbed her, rolling to the side, taking her with me until she was half over me, her cheek pillowed on my chest, her hair tickling my chin. We stayed like that for a long while, just whispering and laughing about nothing and everything.
“I think I’m leaking,” she whispered. “I needa pee, too.”
I laughed. “Well, the wet spot is your side.”
She pushed herself away, stood, took one step and looked back at me, accusingly. “You broke me,” she said.
I jumped up, picked my brown angel up and carried her into the bathroom. She did her thing and I went to the fridge for bottles of water. She came padding back to bed, a vision of naked beauty crossing our bedroom floor. She had a warm washcloth, and she cleaned me.
“I kinda bled a little,” she said. “Was that supposed to happen?”
I chuckled. “It’s normal for your first time.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she said. “How about the second time?”
“No, not then.”
“We’ll find out,” she promised.
She crawled in and I snuggled my little spoon. She pulled my arm under her head, bending my arm until one hand was cupping one of those lush titties, pulling my other arm down until that hand was between her thighs, cupping her hot little pussy. “Like that,” she sighed. “Imma spend the rest of my life right here.”
That seemed like a good plan, to me.
Waking up was a bit of a shock. I had grown somewhat used to being by myself in bed, and waking up holding Nisha in my arms disoriented me for a second. Her warm little body against mine, her hair tickling my face, the feel of that hot little ass pressing against me, my dead arm she was using for a pillow, every sensation was fresh and new.
I needed to pee, so I slipped a pillow gently under her head and extricated my arm as gently as I could. She murmured a little protest in her sleep as I eased out of bed. I did my morning business, took a quick shower, and when I came out of the bathroom, she opened her eyes a little.
“Come back,” she said. “I needa be snuggled.”
I chuckled. “You always need to be snuggled.”
She murmured her assent, and I was happy to snuggle her. She drifted off again, and I just held her for about 20 minutes. She stirred, stretched like a sleepy kitten, and eased away, getting out of bed.
She took a step and winced. “Owwee. Damn, Rogers, I’m sore. You wore me out.”
I laughed. “Hey, this was your idea. Not that it wasn’t a great idea.”
She flashed me a smile. “Yeah, this was one of my good ones. Get up, lazy, and feed me. I want eggs, bacon and hash browns.”
“Yes, your majesty,” I answered. “Right away.”
“Imma shower, so you got plenty of time.”
I watched her as she walked, still amazed at the sight of that naked goddess. The thought that she was mine, that she had given herself to me, filled my heart, and I watched until she closed the door.
I got up, dressed, and made her breakfast.
We spent a leisurely day, just hanging around the house. I couldn’t seem to keep my hands off her. The idea that I could touch her, anywhere, hold her in my arms as my lover, that she wanted me to, was a dream come true. Over the course of a couple of hours, I gradually undressed her. She refused to let me remove her panties, but she ran around the house all day just in those, and the sight of her was enough to wake the dead.
That night, she came in and climbed in bed with me as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “This is my bed, too, from now one,” she answered my questioning look. “Imma move my stuff in here.”
There was plenty of room in my closet, I had drawers that were empty and she gradually filled them.
I was nervous about Selina being there that weekend, and considered asking Nisha to sleep in her room, but I never quite worked up the nerve. It really didn’t matter, in any case, because Selina was asleep before we went to bed. She did get up early on Sunday morning and came into my bedroom.
“Everything okay, sweetheart?” I asked.
“Very okay,” she said. “Can I get in with you guys?”
I patted the bed, and she ran and threw herself on Nisha, before rolling toward me and snuggling between us.
“This makes me so happy,” she said.
“I’m glad,” I told her. “I don’t want anything to upset you, Selina.”
“Noo, I’m not upset,” she insisted. “I love you, and Nisha. This way, I’ll get to be with you both all the time. Well, you know, and Nisha is never gonna like get a boyfriend or anything and leave us.”
Nisha rolled toward us and we made a Selina sandwich. “I was never, ever gonna not have you in my life, no matter what,” she said.
My life changed dramatically on that weekend. I had always felt close to Nisha, she fascinated me and I hated the part of my day when we weren’t together. I felt similarly about Selina, but with Nisha, that all ratcheted up about five notches.
I could hardly wait for her to get out of her class so I could see her. She came to my office and kissed me if I was there, or made it a point to come and find me wherever I was.
She’d give me that flashing brilliant Nisha smile and a hug if we were where someone might be watching. If I was in the office, she’d close the door and light me up. I’d feel her up, she’d giggle madly, then she was off on her routes. I resented her driving away, because I just want to look at her, share some secret joke, watch her walk and marvel that she was mine.
We both rushed home after work to be together and we didn’t spend a minute apart that wasn’t necessary. She still went places with Elica, with Selina or Sarah, and she and Mom were pals. She met Dad a couple of times a week for coffee, a piece of pie, or something. I was happy to see her happy.
I still played the occasional round of golf, fished, went for a beer with friends, but I always discovered that I was waiting for when I could go home and be with Nisha.
I was desperately in love with her, couldn’t get enough of her, and she made it plain every day that she felt the same way. She was my lover, my best friend, my confidante, and that just grew.
It was never going to change. She had invaded every aspect of my life, and I loved everything about her. She was silly, completely unselfconsciously goofy, said the most outrageous things, did anything that she felt like doing, whenever the mood struck her. She was completely spontaneous, led me a merry dance, and I reveled in it.
She was also a totally sensuous creature. I had sex more in the first six months we were together than I think I had all the time I was married to Lily, and I thought we had been tearing up the sheets.
She was on fire, and the only thing that satisfied her was me. She was playing a video game one evening when I came in from watering the lawn.
“You winning?” I asked.
She shot me a smile and a look. “Umm… this not a game you really ‘win’ at,” she said. “It’s one of those long-ass adventure games.”
“Ah, well, I’m going to shower,” I told her. She waved her controller at me and I went off to clean up.
When I came out into the bedroom, wrapped in my towel, she jumped on me from the side, scaring me shitless. She wrapped me up like a python, and she was naked. “Damn, Nisha…” I managed to say.
“Imma suck that dick,” she said, dropping to her knees and engulfing me. I had never met a woman who loved giving head like she did.
We had made love twice that day, already, and I complained that she was wearing my dick to a nub.
“Yeah, but it’s my nub,” she grinned up at me. “You got a nice nub. I love my nub.”
I had to laugh, then moan as she did incredible things with that mouth.
It never changed.
*****
School was getting out, and we were moving Selina back to our house. I was looking forward to having the summer with my baby, Nisha was getting back into the swing of driving again, and she brought her trailer and truck to get Selina’s stuff.
When we got there, Lily was home. Selina’s things seemed to be packed up, but the whole place looked like it was being packed.
“Hey, Lily, what’s going on?” I asked when I found her upstairs.
“I need to talk to you,” she said. “Selina knows what’s happening, but I asked her to let me talk to you.”
“Okay,” I said. “Is this a good time?”
She sighed. “As good as any. Let’s get a cup of coffee down on the corner.”
I let Nisha and Selina know we were going for coffee. Nisha wanted us to bring her a latte, and they kept packing while we walked down to the corner. We got our coffee and the latte and sat at a little table.
“Rogers, there’s no good way to say this,” she said, “so I’m just going to blurt it out. I’ve come to realize that you’ve moved on. We’re never getting back together, and I’m moving on, too.”
“Good,” I said. “There’s no reason for acrimony. I don’t have any ill will, Lily.”
“Well, the only thing keeping me here was you and Selina,” she said. “Selina wants to be with you. She regards me as kind of keeping her from you and… that girl.”
“Careful,” I warned her. “She loves Nisha, and the feeling is mutual.”
“I’m not stupid, Rogers,” she said. “I can see how that girl looks at you. It’s written all over her. She’s in love with you, and I can also tell the feeling is mutual.”
I just sipped my coffee. It was none of her business. “I’m moving back to Colorado Springs,” she blurted out. “I’m giving you custody of Selina. That’s what she wants, and I’m not going to fight it.”
“I’m sure she wants you in her life,” I said.
“Yes, but not if it keeps her away from you and… that girl.”
“She has a name, Lily,” I said. “Do you want her to refer to you as “that woman?”
She looked like her coffee was straight lemon juice. “Okay, Nisha then, are you happy?”
“Very,” I said. “Are you going to stay in Selina’s life?”
“Yes, I’ll want holidays, a weekend here and there, we’ll work it out, okay?”
“You’ve explained all this to her?” I asked.
“Yes, we’ve been talking about it for a couple of months,” she said. “I think this is best for everyone. You can keep or sell the house, whatever you want. I’ve accepted a job. The paperwork giving you full custody will be ready Tuesday. You’re not going to be a dick about me seeing her, are you?”
“I’m not, and I resent you asking that,” I said.
She sniffed. “I’m sorry. I’m just not feeling very happy, okay? This isn’t easy, Rogers.”
“No, I don’t imagine it is,” I said. “I’ll make sure she knows you’re her mother, and I know she loves you. Hell, I want her to love you, Lily. A girl needs a mother. I think you’re right; this is for the best.”
We walked back to the house, and Lily was even cordial to Nisha. We got Selina’s things packed, and started home. It was a little melancholy, I had to admit. One thing was done. Fortunately, something else had begun. I looked over at Selina and Nisha. They were my life, and they were with me. I didn’t think it could get any better. There were no waifs in sight, only gorgeous girls, who both looked at me with love in their eyes.
“Dad, when do you think you might want to give me a little brother or sister?” Selina asked.
I choked, and looked over at Nisha. She was looking out the window with a little smile on her face. Her hand came up, and her ring finger wiggled at me. I laughed. I had plans for that finger.